Breaking Dawn (Twilight Saga, #4)

by Stephenie Meyer

[layawaydragon]

I had to read this whole series under protest due to the fact that every girl I knew was reading this shit. Every time I criticized it they all shrieked "You're just a hater, you've never even read it." So I read it. It's without a doubt the worst thing I've ever read. The only good thing that came out from reading it is that I can critique it from its terrible writing, cheesiness all the way down to the fact it's moron absentee porn. And no one can make me watch the stupid movies.

Bella is a blow up doll full of blood. She’s not a character. She’s not even a caricature. She’s on the level of strawmen.

Her features aren’t even described in the book! Seriously, if don’t believe me look it up. You just know she has brown hair, eye color and she’s “average” looking. Whatever the fuck that means. There’s no point in describing her since she has no personality. She’s been sucked dry and propped up like an abuser does to his victims before she even meets her predator.

I saw where it was going. I called out what would happen and couldn’t fucking believe everyone else was all “OMFG I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING”. It was terrible writing. The holier than thou don’t have sex was fucking frustrating. (I’m a single mother and so were all of my friends, how they bought into this, I dunno). Edward is a fucking stalker and he’s grooming Bella. Bella was a perfect target for an abuser. My friends didn’t believe me at all about Edward, saying I was just jaded because of my abusive ex. Then Edward flips and becomes lifeless in the 4th book with Bella’s pregnancy. Bella clings to her child’s life in the face of death, nice little anti-abortion tool there.

Dear fucking lord was this book annoying. I wanted to punch every character in the face. I didn't realize how worse it could get. Then the very ending where I’m cheering for the author to do something right and slaughter them all. I wanted them all fucking dead. Even the perfect miracle child. Especially the child. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO the author actually had more shit to pull out of their ass and made it happily fucking ever. They get impossibly saved in a big scene that made no damn sense and its a happily ever after until the end of time. Great.No, seriously, happily fucking ever. No dying, best ever hours for hours sex, perfect child, no money worries, nothing. Horrible, horrible Mormon absentee porn bullshit.

Fuck Twilight. Burn it.

I'm no longer friends with the people who made me read this bullshit.