Guys, this book is heavy. In a good way, but still, know that going in. It's going to fucking hurt. Because Charlie hurts- she hurts inside, and she transfers that pain to the outside. Your heart will absolutely break for Charlie, because man, she has been dealt a very crappy hand in life. And I think that the portrayal of mental health and the issues surrounding it is so, so accurate. For example:
- The highs and lows, the progress and regression, are so spot on. Mental illness is definitely not some pretty linear path, which is why I think it is fantastic that the author shows the ups and downs of Charlie's progress so vividly. She hopes (and tries!) to be "better" and stay that way, but it doesn't always work out- and that is so, so realistic.
- Charlie doesn't have any money, so she gets subpar care. This is another sad but true reality. Charlie doesn't have the funds to cover the psychiatric facility, so as soon as they deem her "not a threat", out she goes. Does the staff feel bad about it? Sure, but it isn't like there's a thing they can do about it, really. That's the system, it's absolute bullshit, but it is an incredibly realistic situation.
- Charlie's inner dialogue of feeling isolated felt incredibly authentic. She was really hurting, and it was so clearly portrayed.
"I've always felt like an intrusion, a giant blob of wrong. My mother was always telling me to keep quiet, not to be a bother. 'Nobody's interested, Charlotte,' she'd say."
There are lots of things that work about the story, really. Charlie is looking for love, of course- not just romantic love, but any kind of love. Her mom basically deserted her, her best friend is gone, and the only person who seems to care isn't really as available as she'd hoped. So of course she finds some of the right kind of friends... and some of the wrong kind too. Not that any of the people were inherently "good" or "bad" (because is that even a thing?), but some were just not good for Charlie. And some were absolute blessings.
"'Everything and everybody that's busted can be fixed. That's what I think.'"
Charlie's determination was also pretty awesome. For her to try to rebuild her life, that takes an incredible amount of courage. And like I said before, it isn't a straight path.
For me, the only real issue I had with the book was that (and this is mostly in the beginning) I didn't feel fully connected to Charlie, and it was a slow start. I understand really that Charlie was barely connected with Charlie at that point, but it still made for a bit of difficult reading at the start- and not just the emotionally difficult kind.
That aside, by the time the book was through, while I didn't have the same feelings or experiences as Charlie, I definitely felt like I had a much better understanding of her and how her life spiraled so badly. It was heartbreaking, but lovely.
Bottom Line: If you can handle the harsh realities of the self-harm in this book, it is an absolute must read. The insight into Charlie's world and her illness is phenomenal, and definitely thought provoking on many levels.
*Copy provided by publisher for review
**Quotes taken from uncorrected proof, subject to change