Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me by Gae Polisner

Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me

by Gae Polisner

Fifteen-year-old JL Markham's life used to be filled with carnival nights and hot summer days spent giggling with her forever best friend Aubrey about their families and boys. Together, they were unstoppable. But they aren't the friends they once were.

With JL's father gone on long term business and her mother suffering from dissociative disorder, JL takes solace in the in the tropical butterflies she raises, and in her new, older boyfriend, Max Gordon. Max may be rough on the outside, but he has the soul of a poet (something Aubrey will never understand). Only, Max is about to graduate, and he's going to hit the road - with or without JL.

JL can't bear being left behind again. But what if devoting herself to Max not only means betraying her parents, but permanently losing the love of her best friend? What becomes of loyalty when no one is loyal to you?

Gae Polisner's Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me is a story about the fragility of female friendship, of falling in love and wondering if you are ready for more, and of the glimmers of hope we find by taking stock in ourselves.

Reviewed by Sam@WLABB on

4 of 5 stars

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Rating: 3.5 Stars

When her father sold his business, things were supposed to get better, not worse. But, when his contract took him to California for an extended period of time, JL's mother began to slip deeper and deeper into her depression. Not only did JL have to deal with her dissociative mother, she was also losing her best friend, and being judged harshly for her mother's behavior and for dating an older boy. Though her boyfriend was often her quiet in the storm, he was also a source of stress as she dealt with her sexual awakening at her own speed, not his.

I actually had to give JL credit for some of the decisions she made. Her family might have been sort of falling apart, but she was growing stronger due to all the challenges she was experiencing. There were quite a few times, where JL stood up for herself, and made some tough and painful choices, and she did so with very little support.

I was furious with the people in her life. Her mother was mentally ill, her father was absent, her grandmother was in denial, her best friend was worried more about what people were saying, then about her friend, and her boyfriend, UGHHHH! He really disappointed me in the end.

JL's story really gives meaning to the saying, "you always hurt the ones you love," because all her loved ones betrayed her in some way during this book. But, she made it through, and I was proud of her. I think she was proud of herself too.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 9 March, 2020: Finished reading
  • 9 March, 2020: Reviewed