Proceed With Caution:
This book is centered on a student-teacher relationship and covers child abuse, grooming, suicide, substance abuse, and PTSD.
The Basics:
My Dark Vanessa alternates between present day (2017) with Vanessa having to relive her past with her prior English teacher, Jacob Strane, who is being investigated for sexual abuse with five other girls, and her high school and college years (2000-2006) where she was in a relationship with him. Vanessa adamantly believes that things were different with her. She wasn't abused. They were in love.
My Thoughts:
I am fascinated by student-teacher relationships, whether they're between two consenting adults in a Romance novel or if they're a twisted Realistic Fiction novel like My Dark Vanessa. This book does not hold back at all. it goes deep into the relationship between Vanessa and Strane, from the moment she lays eyes on him, all the way until the bitter end.
My Dark Vanessa had me all kinds of conflicted. Yes, I know a fifteen-year-old girl should not be with a forty-two-year-old man. Especially her teacher. They both know better. Strane especially knows better, and he outright says it! He's always making sure that Vanessa knows that he can get in trouble, but he convinces her that she holds all of the power here. We both believed him! She can send him to prison with a word. That is powerful. But it's obviously a manipulation tactic. One of many that he uses on Vanessa over many years. It just takes her a while to realize it.
There were moments where I believed they were in love. They have moments. Or maybe I just wanted them to be in love and prove everyone wrong, much like Vanessa. However, there are plenty of moments that are quite horrific. Their first time having sex? Umm...wow, no. All of the lying and pleading and crying (both of them). It's a lot. These are two damaged people who seemed to have found something in each other, but also, it's a very damaged man preying on a teenage girl who is convinced that she's special.
I don't even really know what to say about My Dark Vanessa. You'll know if this book is for you or not based on the description. If this subject matter isn't something you want to read about, then don't. If you're curious how a teenager was convinced to be with a man nearly 30 years older than her and stay with him on-and-off for the next 17 years while convincing herself that it's totally fine, she's different, they're different? Definitely pick it up.