Fucking Apostrophes by Simon Griffin

Fucking Apostrophes

by Simon Griffin

A hilarious, furious and profoundly useful short guide to the most maddening punctuation in English.

Apostrophes are a f'ing pain. The rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly.

Originally written as advice by a copywriter for designers - wont to insert and remove apostrophes at will, for visual effect - this is a light-hearted, pocket-sized guide to getting the f'ing things right.

Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don't have to, showing precisely why 'Rhianna and Jennifer's photos were all over the internet' is quite different to 'Rhianna's and Jennifer's photos' or what words apostrophes are replacing in sentences such as 'He'd like you to buy him some cocaine', or 'They've got it all on camera.'

Elegantly produced, this is the perfect gift for any pedant, as well as an indispensable guide in all our moments of grammar-related frustration.

WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!

Reviewed by MurderByDeath on

4.5 of 5 stars

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The Assistant Principle I share an office with showed me this book for its audacious title, and when I saw it at the bookshop, of course I had to buy it; both for its audacity and its content since I have become a grammar nerd.

Can I just tell you, it's a great little book!  Only about 50 pages or so, Griffin keeps things very concise and very easy to reference.  He keeps it simple: each chapter is an instance where apostrophes are used (omission, possession, etc.) and he shows examples of each in context, as well as examples and 'translations' of what wrong usage looks like.  If apostrophe usage is a grey area, he offers a short explanation of why.  

At the end, "in case you couldn't be bothered to read the last 50 pages" he includes a short reference listing the examples of what apostrophe to use and when, with more examples.  Those examples, by the way, make learning the grammar fun.  A couple of examples:

The men's team swapped samples.

Walter's teachers manual said nothing about cooking meth.

My only complaint is that he does abuse the humour of the title itself: after awhile the phrase "fucking apostrophe", used for every instance of apostrophe in a book about them, becomes a little tired and loses its humorous impact.  Humor aside, this is going to be a handy little reference book for those times we're stumped on whether or not something calls for an apostrophe.

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Reading updates

  • 29 December, 2016: Started reading
  • 29 December, 2016: Finished reading
  • 19 October, 2020: Reviewed