Our intrepid HERO, whose name is T-BONE (like the steak not the rapper) and (who had a beard and apparently only ONE hair on his head.)
"I have a face full of hair, and the one on my head grows down past my shoulders"
Murders two people and feeds them to his hogs (which I REALLY hope he never butchered and ate.)
Then he stalks the heroine like a predator worthy of this own Dateline episode.
"The little chart I’d started keeping after finding the tampons in her trash told me all I needed to know about her breeding season"
Then he drugs her and has oral and anal sex with her. And sticks fertility pills in her anus every chance her gets.
"Are you going to kill me?” Her words stopped me in my tracks and almost knocked me off my feet. “No.” The thought never entered my head. Why would she even think such a thing"
Ya I dunno WHAT she was thinking. *Insert sarcastic eye roll*
Then he basically just continues to have sex with her until she Stockholm syndromes all over his ass.
Then they have a TON of babies and live HEA.