You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris

You Will Not Have My Hate

by Antoine Leiris

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER - "On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional person, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you will not have my hate."

On November 13, 2015, Antoine Leiris’s wife, Hélène Muyal-Leiris, was killed by terrorists while attending a rock concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris, in the deadliest attack on France since World War II. Three days later, Leiris wrote an open letter addressed directly to his wife’s killers, which he posted on Facebook. He refused to be cowed or to let his seventeen-month-old son’s life be defined by Hélène’s murder. He refused to let the killers have their way: “For as long as he lives, this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom.” Instantly, that short Facebook post caught fire, and was reported on by newspapers and television stations all over the world. In his determination to honor the memory of his wife, he became an international hero to everyone searching desperately for a way to deal with the horror of the Paris attacks and the grim shadow cast today by the threat of terrorism.
 
Now Leiris tells the full story of his grief and struggle. You Will Not Have My Hate is a remarkable, heartbreaking, and, indeed, beautiful memoir of how he and his baby son, Melvil, endured in the days and weeks after Hélène’s murder. With absolute emotional courage and openness, he somehow finds a way to answer that impossible question: how can I go on? He visits Hélène’s body at the morgue, has to tell Melvil that Mommy will not be coming home, and buries the woman he had planned to spend the rest of his life with.

Leiris’s grief is terrible, but his love for his family is indomitable. This is the rare and unforgettable testimony of a survivor, and a universal message of hope and resilience. Leiris confronts an incomprehensible pain with a humbling generosity and grandeur of spirit. He is a guiding star for us all in these perilous times. His message—hate will be vanquished by love—is eternal.

Reviewed by wcs53 on

5 of 5 stars

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I borrowed this little book from the library as it caught my eye. It was written by the husband of a woman who was killed in the terrorist attack at the Bataclan Theatre in Paris in November 2015. In it he shares the story of how the events unfolded in his situation and how he was left to raise their 17 month old son alive. The title words come from a letter he wrote to the terrorists on Facebook a few days after the attack. In this letter he shared that he refuses to hate and he wants to concentrate all his emotions on raising his son.

The book is a moving account of how the author reacted to what happened and contains many details of his life before and after the attack. It is also a very poignant tribute to his wife. Although I borrowed this from the library, I may have to look for a copy of my own, as I'd really like to read it again, perhaps more slowly just to take it in better.

Ironically, and sadly, as I write this review, news is coming through of more people who have been killed at a concert in Europe. This time at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester. Very little details are available now, but it seems like it was some kind of explosion that occurred as the concert ended. We live in a very broken world.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 22 May, 2017: Finished reading
  • 22 May, 2017: Reviewed