Broken

by William Denomme

[Charli G.]

Ok but could be better

The story has an interesting concept, but I’d like to have seen the story fleshed out more. Perhaps an explanation of what started the whole thing, definitely a better, not so abrupt ending.

Also, better editing was needed as there were several spots where words were either inserted unnecessarily or were missing. Not a bad story or concept, but needs some polishing.