"YOU CAN'T REACH WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU UNTIL YOU LET GO OF WHAT'S BEHIND YOU"
This book really hit me in the feels, and even now as I am thinking of what to write, I am doing so with a rather sweet little smile on my face and a few tears in my eyes.
"Hurt, rejection, and emptiness made up my childhood, and they have controlled me for so long now that I don't know if I can stop them."
For those of you, who love broken MCs, we have Allison. I acknowledge, that she had been through a lot, but in an effort to protect herself, she had in fact limited her happiness. She had this amazing dad, who would move mountains for her, but she held him at arm's length in order to avoid an attachment. He seemed too good to be true, and she thought he would abandon her at any moment. She spent two years of college holed up in her room, avoiding any social interactions, and rebuffing those who wanted to become friends. But after 180 seconds with Esben, she wanted to make connections and explore being more open with people. I loved being there with her during her metamorphosis, but it was not an immediate change. Allison took baby steps, and with each step she took, I was cheering for her with my chest proudly puffed out.
She had a slew of pretty awesome people in her life too. First and foremost, Simon. This man melted my heart. He was so sweet and loving and generous and patient. He had all the best dad qualities that are out there.
"It was about how I felt when I saw your picture. One of those things you can't explain. I just felt a connection, and I knew right then that I wanted to be your father."
Then, there was Steffi. Steffi was a positive force, in that she supported Allison during her time in foster care. She encouraged her to work hard in school and to be brave. They really had a beautiful friendship.
"We are the exception, and we are exceptional. Got it?"
And, Park outdid herself with this book boyfriend, because Esben is as close to perfect as it gets.
"So, what are you going to do?" I ask.
Esben looks at me thoughtfully. "Wait. I'm going to wait."
"Wait for what?"
"You."
"Oh."
When Esben was first introduced, I got this BMOC vibe. So, I expected him to be a jock or a party boy, but his popularity actually came from the social experiments he conducted and spread through social media. Esben had been a party to a traumatic event, which left him thinking the worst of people. In an effort to battle these feelings, he started looking for the good in people and wanted to spread joy to those around him. I adored that Park featured the good that can be done with social media, because I also believe it has value, and sometimes forget that when the ugly hits the internet. Park had Esben orchestrate some really lovely moments with us readers. Aside from that, he was a wonderful brother and friend, and he was amazing to Allison. This guy's heart was HUGE, and he was super swoony too.
"If you're going to go running anywhere, I'd prefer that you come running to me.
I love that Park touches upon some real issues, but they don't overpower the story. Rape, adoption, coming out, cancer -- these are all incorporated into the story at some point. The way they are integrated is rather organic, but I still picked up on it, and appreciated its presence in the story.
"He wants to prove that the world is more than just brutal. To prove that there is good."
Most of this book is filled with feel good moments, but somewhere around the 70% mark, it gets sad, and then around the 90% mark, there were buckets of tears. I was sobbing on the train, people! Those of us, who have had the privilege of reading Park's other books know that she can bring the feels, but what she does is balance them out. Yes, it was sad. Yes, there were tears, many tears, but she tempered it with so much happiness and joy and hope.
This was a beautiful journey I got to share with Allison, and it left me with some of my hope in humanity slightly restored.
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