Reviewed by nannah on
Well, I tried.
I have no problems with the story itself; in fact, it seems pretty interesting! But in this case, I just can't deal with the writing. I just ... couldn't stand it.
Each paragraph has about five run-on sentences, and ten unnecessary commas. Extra commas are fun, but this seemed extreme. Let me find some examples:
"She grew tired, she was losing her life blood, but she had a smile for the two of us and we tried to smile back through her tears, hardly understanding what she told us, but knowing it was important." ... "She stroked his hair, and soothed him with gentle words, and Conor moved around to take his twin's hand in his own, and Cormack grew quiet."
By the second chapter (43 pages), I just couldn't handle this wandering, dragging structure anymore. That's all it is, though: personal preference.
Reading updates
- Started reading
- 7 September, 2018: Finished reading
- 7 September, 2018: Reviewed