An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.
Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
[The ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.]
CN: mentions of aphobia, ableism and rape
What I liked: • This book covers so many important topics – race, disabilities, dating, gender, trauma, rape… I think it’s a really good introduction to asexuality and its intersections. • I really liked how the author connected the different topics to her own experiences as an asexual person. • I love how diverse this book is! The author interviewed lots of people across the asexual spectrum, and their different backgrounds, opinions and experiences make the book very special. • My favorite chapter was the one about romance and dating. As an aroace person, it really resonated with me and made me feel more secure in my identity.
What I didn’t like: • The structure of the book was a little confusing at first.
I recommend this book to everyone, whether asexual or allosexual, who wants to learn more about asexuality!
