Naked in Knightsbridge

by Nicky Schmidt

[Leah]

Jools Grand is having a bit of a hard time. Her business has burned to the ground (literally!), she’s got no money whatsoever and is about to become homeless. To try and save herself from living on the streets Jools comes up with a foolproof plan: she’ll sell herself on Ebay in a marriage of convenience. Trouble is the only bids that Jools gets are from a deranged loner and a gay politician trying to appease his family. Is this marriage of convenience going to turn out to be more than it’s worth?

I’d never heard of Nicky Schmidt or her debut novel Naked In Knightsbridge until Prospera Publishing got in touch and asked us if we’d like to review it for the site. I took one look at the synopsis and said yes straight away. Due to the postal strikes it took a while to arrive but Prospera sent us the first two chapters to tide us over and I found them so absorbing I couldn’t wait to read more. As soon as the book arrived I started it immediately. I’m pleased to report that the first two chapters weren’t a one-off and I found Naked In Knightsbridge a thoroughly enjoyable read.

The opening to the book cuts right to the point with a letter from Jools’ bank telling her she’s way past her overdraft and she needs to get below it immediately. Each chapter has a letter of some sort at the beginning, kind of like the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella, which I found highly amusing and I thought they were very readable and didn’t detract at all from the book. The book starts just before Jools decides to put herself on Ebay and we learn what happened to her cleaning business, I found that particular story quite amusing I have to say. As the pages go by I could see Jools was getting more and more desperate about her state of affairs until eventually she came up with her masterplan: auctioning herself on Ebay. That, folks, is one of the most unique plots I’ve ever read.

The auction itself was quite fun to read of, what with people being quite disparaging but the best part was the bidding war between Rodney and Niles. As the book was told in third-person, and thus switched points of view quite regularly, we could see why both men wanted Jools to marry them. Both reasons were at totally different ends of the spectrum on account of just how different the two men were considering one was a gay politician and the other a bit of a deranged loner. I knew who I wanted to win the bid, let me tell you. However there’s a clever twist just before the auction ends and it all seemingly goes to pot.

The auction itself isn’t really the main plot, though, it’s what happens after the auction on account of the plot twist I mentioned above. I don’t want to spoil what happens to the auction or what happens after the auction so I’ll just say that I thought it was incredibly interesting and it added a different spin on things. The blurb makes the auction sound as if it’s the focal point of the story but for me it wasn’t – for me it was what happens after the auction ends that really makes the book.

I thought all of the characters were incredibly well written. Jools is so far removed from your typical chick lit heroine it’s unbelievable: she’s the anti-heroine; she’s a chancer, a thief, she’s addicted to her food and she’s totally unashamed about anything and yet I loved her. She’s probably not someone you’d want to be friends with but she seemed to have her heart in the right place. Mel, Jool’s best friend, was likeable enough but I thought she was completely in denial about her boyfriend Michel. I really wasn’t a fan of Rodney or Niles, the guys bidding for Jools, as they were both liars and only really seemed to care about themselves. Jools’ dad makes a few appearances but he’s a bit of a perv and is wholly unlikeable. My favourite male character was undoubtedly Skuttle (Jools calls him Hunk of No Fixed Abode), a homeless man who Jools befriends. I knew he wasn’t all he seemed and I liked him immensely. Schmidt has really created quite a cast of characters: they’re all quirky and, you might think, really unlikeable and nothing like anybody you know in real life and yet they were so compelling and incredibly well rounded.

Naked In Knighstbride is uncategorically NOT chick lit. I have absolutely no idea where it should be placed but it’s so much more than chick lit. It deals with quite a few serious issues and just seems… I don’t know, I can’t explain it; it’s not light or fluffy and the characters aren’t all thin, rich and gorgeous. Schmidt has given us an incredibly great read but not one I can categorize in any which way. The book really shows how easy it is to lose your way and end up with no money and no home, I didn’t know becoming homeless was so easy. Jools doesn’t really help herself when she’s faced with homelessness but how can I judge when I have no idea how I’d act if it were me in that situation! The book really is a compelling read with quite a few twists and turns along the way. The last twist near the end of the book was fantastic and all was seemingly revealed!

I really enjoyed reading Naked In Knightsbridge. Nicky Schmidt is a talented writer and I hope she’s writing another book. She’s given us a quirky plot, even quirkier characters and has written a very compelling read. It really was a joy to read.