Reasons to Stay Alive

by Matt Haig

[Leah]

I cannot put into words how utterly, fantastically needed this book is. This book should be in every school, every library, every prison, everywhere. Everyone should have a copy of this book on their bookshelves, because it is an actual, literal life-saver.

I suffer with depression and anxiety, I am on medication for it and a break-up I suffered in December kind of left me incredibly low. I have a bad self-worth anyway, but that just kind of made me even worse. I could get into it, but honestly, it was the worst time of my life. But it wasn't just the worst time of my life in December. It was in January. In February. March was better, a bit brighter. But the two days we've had of April so far? The absolute pits. I've been worse than ever for some reason, and I've cried both days. Today was a hybrid sob-fest/panic attack, that was over as quickly as it consumed me, and the calm that came over me was quite surreal, I'd never felt like that before.

Then I remembered I had this book on my shelf. I bought it back when it was released, as everyone was raving about it, but I'd never read it because back in those halcyon days of 2015, I didn't know I was depressed/anxious. But today I needed Reasons To Stay Alive and it kept me absorbed from start to finish. It's so refreshing to read about depression and anxiety and not feel like you're being judged, like the obvious answer isn't to just "be better" or "man up" or for people to ask what exactly you have to be depressed about.

Like Matt Haig, I have a thin skin. I care too much, a lot of the time; I'm easily hurt, it's just something I accept about myself now. And I felt so validated hearing Matt say he has a thin skin, too. That he felt like there were no lights at the end of the tunnel, but he pulled through, day by day by day, until he had reasons to stay alive, like reading or his kids, or his wife, Alice, who is an amazing, incredible saviour - a lot of credit goes to Matt himself, but Alice really seems to be the guiding light in Matt's life and it makes my little heart happy that they made it through what could easily be classed as the worst of times.

I cannot rave about this book enough. I want to give everyone I know - and everyone I don't know - a copy. I want to shove it in their hands and tell them to thank me later. I am now going to go and buy Matt Haig's entire back catalogue, because then the next time I feel down, I'm going to read one of his wonderful fiction novels, and remember that words can heal you, too.