This book is about so many things, but if I had to pick one major theme, I would say it's about identity. Ramona spends a lot of this book struggling with her identity, because so many things begin to change, which challenge all these ideas of who she thought she was and the things she thought she could have or do.
Ramona was a sister, and although she was the "little" sister, she was the one always looking out for Hattie. She believed that she had to be the one to take care of Hattie and her unborn child. Ramona was a lesbian. She came out in 9th grade and never looked back. Ramona was poor. She did not see college in her future, because her family did not have the means to pay for it. She believed she would be stuck in Eulogy waiting tables for the rest of her days. Ramona had put herself in a box, and she saw no way out of it.
"But there has to be more. I'm made up of tiny pieces; scattered, they are nothing more than sharp edges. But all those pieces combined are what makes me Ramona."
Enter Freddie, or rather, re-enter Freddie. He was a summer friend from her pre-Katrina life, which included a real house to live in and both her parents. I wasn't shocked that Ramona would embrace and hold tight to Freddie as things around her were falling apart. He was associated with a stable time in her life, a happy time in her life. When they reconnected, Ramona was dealing with a broken heart, her sister's baby-daddy drama, her friends leaving her for college, and a future that seems like a dead end.
"It terrifies me and it excites me and it's not because he's a guy and I'm a girl. It's because he's Freddie and I'm Ramona."
Freddie gave her love and support. He was a wonderful friend to her. His grandmother, who was like Ramona's surrogate mother, pulled her right into the fold, and gave her all the things she wished her own mother was able to give her. They gave the chance to swim with them, and that led to an opportunity, which could prove to be life changing for Ramona.
"I wish I could just say yes. I wish I could put myself in that box for my sake and his, but I don't know."
This could have been a pity party, but Murphy did not allow that to happen. She wrote Ramona as a survivor, and she gave her the things money could not buy. She had love from family and friends. She had their faith in her, that she could achieve those things that she thought were out of reach. She had her own strength, which kept her moving in the right direction.
"Instead, I've embraced another facet of myself. Life isn't always written in the stars. Fate is mine to pen. I choose guys. I always choose girls. I choose people. But most of all: I choose."
The overall message of this book is so positive. To see that when she finally freed herself from her box, when she finally stripped away the labels, she was free. She was free to expand her horizons and explore new opportunities, and all these things lead her to bigger and better things. I love this idea!
I enjoyed being part of Ramona's journey to self discovery, and was extra pleased that as she began to understand herself, it helped her better understand others.
**I would like to thank Edelweiss and the publisher for the advanced copy of this book. Quotes are from an ARC and may change upon publication.
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