Dominion (Guardian Angels)

by Melody Manful

[Raven]

Edit: I have been contacted by the author since this review. Apparently the copy I had was a draft that was uploaded by mistake and the book has since been replaced by the final edit of the story. I will be re-reading the final copy in the next few weeks. I did like the story, so I fully anticipate this review to change. Stay tuned. :D

Review originally posted at www.arielavalon.com

The night after Abigail has a dream that a boy named Gideon murdered her, she meets him and another new student named Tristan in her school. There is something less than normal about these two overly attractive boys. She learns they are her guardian angels, one is meant to harm, the other to help. Now she just has to keep tabs on her heart as she falls for both of them.

I really really wanted to like this novel. I want to state right off the bat that I understand the author is young. I know it. It's not an excuse. You should not send out an unfinished novel, and this one was clearly not finished. I didn't catch many spelling mistakes, but there were grammar and word mishaps scattered throughout. A lot of the "Am" were listed as "I'm" instead. There were also formatting errors that I feel could've been easily avoided.

The story itself was muddled and felt like it was written in a rush. The first few chapters were completely confusing. The writing went in circles and left you feeling confused more than anything. The characters weren't bad, but I felt like they could've been fleshed out better. Abigail was difficult to like. Too much of her attitude left her feeling whiny and emo and it just wasn't endearing. The dialogue was scattered and stunted. The characters asked too many questions, most of which weren't needed. I can understand being confused, but the way they were written made it hard to follow them or feel for them. The suspense was built up decently, though a little rushed, but it all left you feeling disappointed when the suspense couldn't deliver.

The cover was stunning, how can you think anything less? The story really was nice and inventive. I loved the take on guardian angels that the author tried to portray. It feels like there is a beautiful story here, it just needs some more editing to turn it into a gem. Had it been better edited to smooth out the writing, I feel like I would've blown through this novel and been left wanting more.