Seeing Ghosts

by Kat Chow

[nannah]

(4.5)

Initially, I was drawn to this memoir because of the similarities between Kat Chow’s life and mine, despite us also being very different: the death of a parent in late high school/early college due to cancer and us having very interesting fathers. Selfishly, I wanted to see how someone else (and someone else's family) handled all that grief. Strangely enough, reading this made me feel more connected to people. It’s a very beautiful book with lovely writing, especially in the second half.

Content warnings:
- cancer
- suicide
- rape

Seeing Ghosts is a memoir, but it’s also a tribute to Kat Chow’s mother, who died of cancer when the author was in her senior year of high school. It’s a very poignant look at the way grief affects different people, and it shows the--I’m quoting the Goodreads summary here, as it captures it perfectly--”strength of sisterhood and the complicated duty of looking after parents, even after death.”

This is the first memoir I’ve read where an author included actual photos of themself with their family. At first I very much loved the added intimacy, but after a few pictures I kind of felt like it became too personal. I know it was Kat Chow’s decision to share them, but it’s almost like I wanted to look away or stop reading (similar to the way that I don’t like to make eye contact for long in some intimate social situations ... yes I'm autistic).

Immediately, Kat Chow’s style grabbed me. The short chapters were fairly disjointed and made following the story hard sometimes, but her humor and writing kept me glued to the pages late into the night. There’s a dark humor underlying her style that’s so very appropriate for what she was talking about, and it’s something that, for some reason, touched me because it reminded me of her mother (and her mother’s hilarious and uncomfortable morbid comments). Or, at least, the impression of her mother, because I don't actually know her. Or maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself. This is the best memoir I’ve read yet, and it resonated with me a lot. And like the ghosts inside it, the memoir has still stuck with me and haunted my thoughts since I finished it in early October. I expect it will for a good while yet.

I’ll have to keep an eye out for what she writes next!