The Survival List

by Courtney Sheinmel

[Sam@WLABB]

Sloane never thought the day she went to school, instead of skipping, would be the last time she would see her sister. She knew Talley was struggling with depression, but never realize how dire things actually were. Now, Sloane was left with many questions and a list of seemingly random things, which she hoped would lead to some answers. She never realized this list would help her learn more about her sister, her aunt, her mother, and herself.

Sheinmel never fails to hit me in the feels, and she had me shedding quite a few tears as I read this book. I think suicide is such a difficult topic, but I though Sheinmel did a beautiful job in presenting how it affected the ones, who were left behind.

I enjoyed many things in this book, and here are my top five:

1. Sisterly Bonds - Not only did I get to explore the relationship between Talley and Sloane, but I also got to enjoy the sisterly friendship between Sloane and her best friend, Juno. Both relationships were very special, and I was happy to witness so many lovely moments between them.

2. Grief and Guilt - Does anyone, who loses a loved one to suicide NOT feel some degree of guilt? Sloane's guilt regarding her actions prior to her sister's death and the disappointment in herself in not recognizing the cry for help was heartbreaking. Sheinmel did a fantastic job getting me into Sloane's headspace, and I felt like I was experiencing her emotional turmoil right alongside her.

3. A List and a Puzzle - The list seemed so random, and I enjoyed being with Sloane as she slowly figured out the significance of each entry, which would bring her closer and closer to learning more about her sister's final months. There were some wrong turns and some red herrings, which really had me wondering about Tally, but eventually, we got the whole story, and it was sad, but satisfying.

4. Adam, a Lovely Soft Boy - Adam initially seemed so random, but I still liked him right away. There was something wonderful about him, and I was happy he was there to help Sloane figure out the entries on the list. I was really surprised by how Adam figured into the big picture, and I thought Sheinmel wove that whole part into the plot quite well.

5. Healing and Forgiveness - This story was filled with many people, who were riddled with grief and guilt, but the author allowed for lots of forgiveness, and had the characters actively working through their pain and towards a bit of healing. I was especially pleased with many of the developments between Sloane and her family, as well as between Adam and his.

Overall:

I found this to be a rather thoughtful look at how those, who are left behind, pick up the pieces following the suicide of a loved one. The pain, the grief, the self-blaming was so heartbreaking, and therefore, I was grateful that Sloane had this last challenge from her sister, which allowed her to uncover some family secrets, mend some broken bridges, make some new connections, and begin to heal.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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