Rules for Being a Girl by Candace Bushnell, Katie Cotugno

Rules for Being a Girl

by Candace Bushnell and Katie Cotugno

From Katie Cotugno and author of Sex and the City Candace Bushnell comes this fierce and feisty exploration of feminism: standing up, speaking out and rewriting the rules.

Don’t be easy. Don’t give it up. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be cold. Don’t put him in the friendzone. Don’t act desperate. Don’t let things go too far. Don’t give him the wrong idea. Don’t blame him for trying. Don’t walk alone at night. But calm down! Don’t worry so much. Smile!

Marin is a smart, driven, popular girl – she's headed for Brown when she graduates and has a brilliant career as a journalist ahead of her. Especially in the eyes of English teacher Mr Beckett. He spends a lot of time around Marin, and she thinks it's harmless . . . until he kisses her.

No one believes Marin when she tells them what happened, so she does the only thing she can: she writes an article called 'Rules for Being a Girl' for the school paper to point out the misogyny and sexism that girls face every day. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and rewrite her own rules.

Reviewed by Sam@WLABB on

5 of 5 stars

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Marin was at the top of her game. In the running for valedictorian? Check. Popular, athletic boyfriend? Check. Co-editor of the school newspaper? Check. A shoe-in for acceptance to her dream school, Brown? Check. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, until her English teacher, Bex, made sexual advances towards her.

As she struggled with confusion and guilt over the situation, Marian also had to deal with blowback from reporting such a beloved teacher. As things began to spiral out, Marin became more and more determined to take back some power, and decided to rewrite the rules for being a girl.

This was such a wake up call for Marin, and it prompted her to really examine her life. Her experience opened her eyes up to a world, that had always been there, but she never really noticed. From her boyfriend's passive-aggressive comments to the school's dress code hypocrisy, Marin was fed up with it all. She wanted to see some changes, and she was starting with herself.

As a woman, who went to engineering school in the early 90s, and worked in IT, I am well aware of the rules for being a girl. It's always amazed me how society has conditioned us to accept and conform to these unwritten rules, and I love when they are challenged. The authors did such a wonderful job calling out the double standard, and allowing the characters to thoughtfully explore the issues at hand, while also making this feel like a very honest and realistic journey for a teen girl.

Marin came for a family of fierce women, who I absolutely loved. I felt that fire, when her mother learned about Bex, and her grandmother, my heart, she was phenomenal. There were so many special and meaningful moments shared between Marin, her mother, her grandmother, and her sister, and I loved them all.

I also loved feminist book club. Yes, you heard me. At one point, Marin questioned, why all the books they read were written by not only men, but white men. Instead of getting another one way ticket to the principal's office, Marin channeled that frustration into forming a book club. There, she made new allies and rebuilt her support system. I loved the mix of people, who joined her club, and though they don't get too in depth, many different topics are touched upon during group discussions.

I found myself getting quite fired up as I read this book, and I hope others will too. It's 2020, and books like this still need to be written, which makes me sad, but I am still hopeful, as I have seen things improve, though rather slowly. I think Rules for Being a Girl is a great conversation starter, and I hope it will inspire many open and honest discussions about equality, sexual harassment, and those unwritten social norms we unwittingly subscribe to.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 17 February, 2020: Finished reading
  • 17 February, 2020: Reviewed