If I Stay (If I Stay, #1)

by Gayle Forman

[Leah]

17-year-old Mia has had some difficult choices to make particularly concerning her boyfriend and her other love, music. But none are as tough as the choice she's about to make. On a cold, snowy February morning, on a trip to see family and friends, a horrific car crash changes Mia's life forever. Mia finds herself completely alone in the world and must make the most difficult decision of her life all by herself: should she stay or should she go?

"'Just listen,' Adam says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel. I open my eyes wide now. I sit up as much as I can. And I listen. 'Stay,' he says." This is the quote on the back cover of If I Stay. It is an immensely intriguing quote and it is what originally brought the book to my attention a few months ago. I was going to buy myself the paperback version when it's released in May but when I saw the original cover in the book swop last week, I snapped it up as quickly as I could. I've heard fantastic things about the book so my expectations were incredibly high. I was looking for a relatively quick read earlier today and at just over 200 pages, this was the perfect read so I happily settled back to start it.

If I Stay begins the morning of the fatal car crash that will kill Mia's parents and brother Teddy and will leave Mia hanging in some kind of limbo in hospital. It seems like an ordinary day in Mia's world except for one thing: it's snowing in Oregon. Snow in Oregon means one thing: snow day and as expected the radio announces all schools are closed for the day. On a whim, Mia's parents decide to go on a road trip with the kids to visit their friends as well as some family members. However, Mia and her family never reach their destination due to the aforementioned car crash.

The car crash happens early on in the book and Forman's description of the scene is fairly graphic and a few of the things Mia mentions actually turned my stomach as I could very easily visualise the shocking and horrific scene Mia was describing. It appears that Mia is having some sort of out-of-body experience as she describes the whole car crash to us and we quickly realise that her parents are dead. However, Mia and her brother Teddy appear to be at least still alive and are sent to two different hospitals to have their injuries assessed. Mia follows her own body, anxious to know whether she is in fact dead or alive and while she tries to figure everything out, Mia tells us all about her life.

If I Stay is only 200 pages long yet it packs quite the punch. As well as describing Mia's current state and all of the injuries/operations she needs, we also travel back in time to happier times in Mia's life. What her parents used to be like, how she met her boyfriend Adam, and, most importantly, how she came to love classical music and playing the cello. It's clear from the off that music plays an important part of not only Mia's life but also that of her parents and her boyfriend, Adam. Mia's love for music easily comes off the pages of the book and although classical music isn't something I particularly enjoy, Mia's enthusiasm for it made it enjoyable to read about and I could easily see why Mia loved it so much. The flashbacks made for fantastic reading and it really gave us a well-rounded view of all of the characters in the book.

As far as characters go, I loved all of them in If I Stay. Mia was a fantastic heroine and her confusion about everything happening to her made for sad reading. I truly had no idea which path Mia would choose and I could understand her reasons for both paths. Mia was very honest throughout the entire book and it would have been difficult to not like her. From what Mia tells us about Adam, he seems really fantastic, too. Their relationship was a joy to read about and it really made me smile. Although the entire book centers on Mia and the decision she has to make, there are plenty of other characters present including Mia's parents and brother. They may well die in the car crash at the beginning of the book but they shine through whenever Mia tells us about a particular memory including them. Mia's best friend Kim is also present throughout the book and, again was a wonderful character.

If I Stay is written incredibly well and Forman easily seemed to get into the mind of a confused 17-year-old. The book is written so easily that it's very easy to breeze through pages without even noticing it. If I Stay doesn't have any chapters but if you need to put it down, there are regular blocks of space but really, the book is so quick to read that you don't even need to put it down. I thought the 207 page length was perfect and although the ending was relatively quick, I didn't feel at all let down by it. It was the perfect ending. The ending made me so much more happier when I read something fantastic on Gayle's website.

If I Stay was a fantastic and very moving read and I was almost in tears countless times. Forman has really crafted a fantastic story with If I Stay. It really doesn't surprise me that this book is in the works to be a movie. It's going to be a mind-blowing movie. If I Stay is not a happy book but like Lauren Oliver's Before I Fall, it is ultimately uplifting. I hugely recommend it.