Inspired

by Rachel Held Evans

[Beth C.]

I am a VERY lapsed Protestant. My husband, a VERY lapsed Catholic. Not so many years ago, in the place where his family is from, we wouldn't even have been allowed to marry because of this religion thing that neither of us pays too much attention to. But though I've walked away from the church, there is something about the spirituality that has refused to loose it's hold on me. I wonder, and I question, and I read - but always I go back to what I see. And what I see, particularly these days, are people - "Christians" - who use the Bible and their version of religion to justify cruelty. Who spend so much time preaching to others about what THEY believe, that it seems maybe they've forgotten to actually study the word themselves. This is why I left the church - I got tired of the Sunday Christians who were mean and spiteful and holier-than-thou during the rest of the week, but sweet as honey at church on Sunday, and expected that this was really all that mattered.

I sort of fell into Rachel Held Evans, I think on Twitter - which can be its own cesspool of hell, frankly. But here was this person openly questioning, not only her OWN faith, but the interpretations of those who use it as a weapon. So I started following her, and listening to what she had to say - and not realizing that I had already read one of her books (Evolving in Monkey Town) years before, and loved it. I ordered a used copy of Inspired from Powell's and waited for it to arrive...and then, a few days after it did, she passed away. And I began to read.

This book is easy to read, particularly for those of us who maybe aren't as versed in Bible as we once were. Her points are backed up by others, many of them Biblical scholars. And it's the kind of Christianity that I wish I had known. Kindness, understanding, and the realization that people must take the Bible as a document of the past - one that grows with us because it encourages questioning, but also one that is framed by the very existence of those living at that time.

Frankly, the epilogue is heartbreaking. Because she talks about her son, and her plans for teaching him Bible stories. About her sister-in-law, who sounds amazing. And the knowledge that these beloved people are now missing her is sad. Though I've heard it said that we mourn not for those we've lost, but for us - it doesn't make it easier for those now mourning her. As for me, and my questing heart - the thought that this kind, compassionate woman, this Bible scholar, will no longer be able to share her faith the rest of us is *also* heartbreaking. Because she was truly talented at putting into words what so many cannot, and at helping to frame arguments that have been going on for hundreds of years - and maybe, for some, showing them that they can love the Bible and love God, regardless of their race or sexuality or anything else.

Am I rushing out to find a new church or to read the Bible? No, not at this point. But I do have a new frame of reference to view things from, and I will be reading others of her books, and I thank her for giving me that much at least.