How It Feels to Fly by Kathryn Holmes

How It Feels to Fly

by Kathryn Holmes

Sam has always known she'd be a professional dancer -- but that was before her body betrayed her, developing unmanageable curves in all the wrong places. Lately, the girl staring back at Sam in the mirror is unrecognizable. Dieting doesn't work, ignoring the whispers is pointless, and her overbearing mother just makes it worse. Following a series of crippling anxiety attacks, Sam is sent to a treatment camp for teens struggling with mental and emotional obstacles. Forced to open up to complete strangers, Sam must get through the program if she wants to attend a crucial ballet intensive later in the summer. It seems hopeless until she starts confiding in a camp counselor who sparks a confidence she was sure she'd never feel again. But when she's faced with disappointing setbacks, will Sam succumb to the insecurity that imprisons her?

Reviewed by shannonmiz on

4 of 5 stars

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You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
4.5*

In How it Feels to Fly, we meet Sam. Sam is a dancer. At first glance, I assumed I'd never relate to Sam, because I am about the least coordinated person in ever. But oh, how wrong I was. See, as a swimmer with a non-swimmer body, I totally related to Sam. As a person who didn't feel comfortable in her own skin I related to Sam, and in about a billion other ways, I related to Sam. 
"'I'm angry at my brain for not being able to handle, like, life,' I finally spit out. 'For screwing up everything I care about. I am so, so mad at myself.'"

The thing is, Sam is a relatable character. You may not have the exact issues that she has, but you still cannot help but root for her, and want to understand her more. And all the characters at the camp were quite unique voices. They all had something different that first brought them to the camp, but they all had something to offer each other, which was nice.

I liked the focus on therapeutic situations. Not just actual therapy, but the whole tone of the camp in terms of trying to work through the fears and such were really great. There were fun moments in the book too, which balanced out some of the tougher ones. Sam is so, so hard on herself, and those moments lightened the tone, but in an appropriate way, not in an irreverent one.

"Jenna blinks at me. 'I'm sorry, did you just make a Nancy Kerrigan joke?' 'Too soon?'"



Sam's mom was a huge obstacle to her recovery. Not because she didn't care about Sam; she did. It was more that she had no idea how to be supportive in a non-judgmental way. And she was kind of too wrapped up in her own wants to realize the toll it was taking on Sam. Their relationship was a huge focus in the book, as it should have been.

This is not a romance-centered book, and that's really all I plan to say about that part of it. And I think that is actually a huge strength in this book, because inserting a big love story would have taken away from Sam's story and journey.

The only mild issue I had with the book came toward the end, so spoiler tags for everyone! Sam's mom just came around too easily. Not that it was complete rainbows and unicorns, but from experience, people don't change that quickly- certainly people as headstrong as Sam's mom. But overall, it was most definitely a huge, huge win.

Bottom Line: Je l’adore, clearly. Not only was it spot on in terms of mental health portrayal, it was a damn good story to boot.

*Copy provided by publisher for review
**Quotes taken from uncorrected proof, subject to change

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 22 June, 2016: Finished reading
  • 22 June, 2016: Reviewed