Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Before I Let Go

by Marieke Nijkamp

Corey and her best friend, Kyra, are inseparable. Corey is the only person who understands Kyra's high-highs and low-lows. So when Corey's family moves away from their Alaskan town, she makes Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winters and wait for her return. Except Kyra doesn't. Two days before Corey is to visit, Kyra is found floating underneath the ice.

Reviewed by Chelsea on

2 of 5 stars

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Read for Popsugar's 2018 Reading Challenge #34: A book that's published in 2018

Warning - this book focuses a lot on mental health (bipolar disorder, suicide) and also has ace rep. I'm no expert on either but they didn't feel well done at all so make sure you know that going in if you decide to read this one.

I'm not really sure what to think of this book. I don't know if I missed the point or if the point was just not there like I think. It just feels like this book had no purpose. The description makes it out to be a kind of mystery but it didn't feel like it. Kyra ends up dead at the beginning of the book and Corey, who had moved away for school, goes back to her hometown for the funeral and whatnot. Corey never seemed to believe her death was an accident for some reason. Apparently Kyra would never even think about suicide, which seemed a little naive on her part because mental health is so much more complicated that this story made it out to be.

Also I''m not sure if the town was supposed to be a cult but it really felt like it. I can't even explain it all but they were obsessed with Kyra for some weird reason when for most of her life they shunned her because of her bipolar disorder? It was just SO confusing. And then the author kind of added an almost paranormal aspect to the book which didn't fit AT ALL.

It was almost like the author tried to right a positive story about mental health and it didn't didn't go well at all. It's not that the mental health issues were portrayed badly exactly but that they didn't fit. In some parts mental health was almost magical and other times the characters were being shunned for it. There was no consistency at all.

All the characters felt pretty boring also. There was no development and I found we really didn't get to know any of them at all. There was a lot of back and forth between present day and the past and some times I swear I didn't know where I was. It was just not a fun book to read at all and it really didn't give me much.


** I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review**

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 4 February, 2018: Finished reading
  • 4 February, 2018: Reviewed