Reviewed by Sam@WLABB on

4 of 5 stars

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It had been five years since her mother died by suicide, and Toby was still dealing with deep seated feelings of abandonment. After a disastrous introduction to her estranged father and a failed suicide attempt, Toby was forced to deal with the aftermath.

My emotions! My emotions! I have to admit, this book was a bit heavier than I had originally anticipated, and I shed many, MANY tears. It was a story about a young women, whose early life was spent with a bipolar mother, who didn't always take her medication. Not only was Toby forced to be the adult in the house, but she carried the weight of not knowing her father. I felt like she struggled with knowing who she really was, because she didn't know where she came from. This coupled with her grief and depression convinced Toby, that the world would be a better place without her.

This part of the story really broke my heart, but let me tell you, the way Francis captured the pain and hopelessness one feels, when in the throes of depression was so real for me. There's this scene, early on in the book, where Toby was having a really tough day, and her actions and the thoughts that were going through her head were just so palpable and raw. I believe I shed as many tears as I did, because I saw shades of my own depression playing out on the page.

Yes, lots of sad stuff friends, but the book took a more hopeful turn post-suicide attempt. It was interesting seeing all the different ways the people in Toby's life reacted to what she had done. The range of reactions was wide, but they all seems plausible and realistic. This terrible event pushed some of the characters to be more honest with themselves and with each other. It gave Toby more insight into herself and helped her open her eyes to all the wonderful things and people that were already in her life.

Yes, this was a somewhat sad story about a suicidal young women, but it was also a story about family, blood and found. And, it was a very honest portrait of mental illness, which was written thoughtfully and with a great deal of compassion. I cried for the pain Toby carried around with her, but that quickly morphed to hope for her as her healing journey began, and eventually, I was cheering for her as she started to rebuild her life.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 4 January, 2020: Finished reading
  • 4 January, 2020: Reviewed