Other People's Children

by Suzie Hayman

Published 26 May 1994
Step families are as old as any other family unit but suffer from a negative image and therefore negative expectations. Most adults who find themselves thrown into a relationship with other people's children suffer significantly from isolation. They feel guilty about any difficulties they encounter and cannot discuss any anxieties or antagonisms they feel with others. Most young people in this situation have even less recourse to support or discussion. Both groups find that the only available picture of what a stepparent is and a stepchild experiences is found in fairy tales, such as "Cinderella" and "Hansel and Gretel". An agony aunt and counsellor, Suzie Hayman is herself in a step-relationship and brings sympathy and understanding to the difficulties involved in adjusting to a new family. Making use of case histories, she offers insight into the complex reactions of all concerned.