Agatha: "When I was a little girl my mother told me that if I made funny faces I would stay that way

. Hagatha: "Well, you can't say you weren't warned

! Zap them right where they stand! Some people deserve a little zinger that leaves them speechless. Or maybe you just want a really good, funny way to describe a person who, shall we say, has some annoying faults. With 800 witty one-liners and 400 put-down jokes, you'll certainly have plenty of material to choose from. Dozens of categories cover birthdays, funny features and forgetfulness, laziness and losers, meanies and nicknames, showoffs and snobs. Want some samples? "If he said all he thought, he'd be speechless. They said the baby looked like you and then they turned him right side up. Police Officer: Why didn't you stop when I blew my whistle? Driver: I'm a little deaf. Police Officer: Don't worry. Here's a summons. You'll get your hearing in the morning. Diner: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Waiter: Well, you've come to the right place. "A fellow told me I looked like you." "What happened to him?" "I punched him!"

Plus--dozens of caricatures, silly pictures, and comic drawings add to the fun. You'll never get caught without a retort again! 352 pages, 80 b/w illus., 4 3/16 x 5 1/4.