Ladybirds for Grown-Ups
36 total works
As we prepare to wave the President out of the White House, commemorate the past four years with this charming introduction to his very important life and his many, many friends - the perfect stocking filler this Christmas.
_________
'When Donald won the election, he did not believe it.
"This election was a bad, unfair election," said Donald, about the election that he won.
One day, Donald might lose an election. He will not like that election at all.
And when Donald is told it is time to stop being the President, who knows what exciting things will happen next?'
_________
'Anyone can grow up to become the President.
Or they can become President first and think about growing up later.'
_________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
Something the President himself could do with.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope.
Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
Praise for The Story of Brexit:
'Hilarious' Stylist
'One of the Best Comedy Books of 2018' The List
'The latest offering in the hilarious Ladybird for Grown Ups series is a funny mickey-take of the Brexit debate (and boy, do we need some fun)' Sunday Post
As Brexit reaches its final stretch, find a way to laugh through the pain and or celebrate the end with Ladybird's hilarious and essential guide, The Story of Brexit.
'Hilarious' STYLIST
________
'"Leaving was the will of the people" sighs Angelica's father. He voted to leave.
Angelica voted to remain, but she feels the same way. "It is the will of the people," she sighs.
They stare at the ducks. They like the ducks. Ducks are better than people.'
________
'Brexit gave us lots of exciting new words, like brextremist, remoaner, bremoaner, remaybe, breprehensible, remaintenance, brexorcist, remaidstone, brex-girlfriend, remange, brextortion, remayhem and bregret.
The new words make it harder for foreigners to understand what we are saying.
In a tough, new international business world, small advantages such as this can be crucial.'
________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'The latest offering in the hilarious Ladybird for Grown Ups series is a funny mickey-take of the Brexit debate (and boy, do we need some fun)' Sunday Post
The Wonderful World of Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups
by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
'After the success of their ingenious idea of matching pictures from Ladybird's archive with prose that mocks the mores of modern life, they are bowing out with a bang with this compendium' - Sunday Telegraph
From the people who gave you classics such as The Ladybird Book of The Hangover and The Ladybird Book of The Mid-Life Crisis, they bring you this collection of what could have been. Imagine a world where there aren't just the thirty-two Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups you've seen in your local bookshop or downstairs toilet but hundreds and hundreds more . . .
In this coffee-table book you don't have to, with never before seen covers, excerpts and paraphernalia from the archives, colourfully presented and helpfully divided into the following chapters:
- Fun & Games
- Adventure
- The World Around Us
- At Work
- At Home
- Coping
- Not Coping
- Giving Up
'I do not hasten to say that these books are the new Da Vinci Code.' Aisling Bea
'These books are small masterpieces. They make me glad I learned to read.' David Quantick
'HILARIOUS. Beserkly brilliant.' Mel Giedroyc
The Ladybird Book of Boxing Day (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
Discover what the end of the world really looks like . . .
'Lara has constructed her own home-made flame-thrower.
The flame-thrower has turned the walking corpses into burning walking corpses. Now everything they touch catches fire.
'This did not happen with the cricket bat,' thinks Lara'
__________
'Some people say civilisation after a zombie apocalypse will go back to The Stone Age.
Nobody tidies up or collects the bins. The electricity keeps going off. There are dead bodies piled up in the streets.
It is actually more like the 1970s.'
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of Mindfulness, The New You, The Meeting, and more.
THE PERFECT GIFT for the Do-Gooder in your life. (Don't you just hate them?)
_________________________________________________
The do-gooder does all sorts of crazy things.
It can be something as easy as running a marathon, or as difficult as dressing up.
To make this eccentric behaviour seem less like a cry for help or the beginnings of a substantial personal crisis, the do-gooder does it for charity.
_________________________________________________
Vernon has a job as a street fundraiser for the R.N.L.I.
He wears a high-visibility jacket, a high visibility and high visibility trousers.
Everybody on the street still pretends they cannot see him.
_________________________________________________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
The PERFECT GIFT for anyone who has ever broken up with someone or ever been broken up with, or is about to take a trip to Break-up City, population you.
'Ah well,' thinks Martin. 'At least she left me a packet of cigarettes and a little bicycle made out of pipe cleaners.'
_____________
Rocco paid a fortune for the website getdianeback.com but it failed to get Diane back.
So Rocco built a new Diane in his shed.
The Diane runs on a 1kW motor, can run most Android apps, and will probably not run off with Rocco's brother.
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
The PERFECT STOCKING FILLER for anyone who has been having the same argument since 2001 or who no longer has ANY of their own clothes left, i.e. someone who is, or has ever been a sister.
'This is a sister.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, a sister will always be there.
Which can get really annoying.'
_____________
'Over the years, Gareth has bought his sister Kelly every possible birthday present he can find related to the film he remembers her enjoying in 1989.
Kelly has had to come to terms with the idea that though they spent half their lives together, Gareth was not really paying attention for most of it.'
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
THE PERFECT GIFT for those obsessed with the World Cup.
__________________________________
'If Ben were only happy when his favourite team did well, he would not be happy very often.
Instead Ben is happy whenever a team he hates does badly.
There are lots and lots of those.'
__________________________________
'BBC Radio 5 Live has cut away from coverage of the worst mainland terrorist atrocity in decades because there is an important update from the curling.
Otherwise, regular listeners will complain.'
__________________________________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
How it Works: The Baby
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star
A Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture Book
Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder
THE PERFECT STOCKING FILLER for anyone that has ever had a brother, is a brother or has ever thought about murdering one.
Aisling has a butterfly book.
Ryan has a book about fish.
Ryan has decided this is not fair for a reason that will become no clearer over the next six days of his going on and on about it.
_____________
Music-making is easy when you are brothers like these Everly Brothers.
Phil knows what Don is thinking.
Don knows what Phil is thinking.
Don is thinking, 'I hate you'.
Phil is also thinking, 'I hate you'.
Two brothers in perfect harmony.
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
THE PERFECT GIFT for the party animal . . . or at the very least, for that person you know who doesn't know when it's time to go home.
Every so often, it is nice to have a big night out.
It is important to let your hair down.
And for a friend to hold it out of the way later while you are sick.
_____________
Mandy has been looking forward to her big night out all week.
She dances and drinks and laughs and sings. She feels like herself for the first time in days.
Tomorrow every single thing she remembers doing will embarrass her to the point of physical agony.
Mandy hates the real Mandy.
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
The PERFECT GIFT for the ones who are yet to know the meaning of the words 'hard work' . . . in other words the back-to-schoolers and the university goers.
__________________________________
This is a student.
He is leaving home for the first time.
By the time he graduates, he will be grown-up: exhausted, hideously in debt and unable to imagine going to bed sober.
__________________________________
Reynard has brought everything he needs for his first year.
He unpacks his fancy-dress costumes, his four-way extension leads, his pair of pants and all his didgeridoos.
By doing front, back, inside-out front, inside-out back, and using Febreze and Imodium, he plans to make his pants last until half term.
__________________________________
This delightful book is part of a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of the Meeting
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Baby (Ladybird for Grown-Ups)
by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
THE PERFECT GIFT for those deluded fools who are expecting a little miracle . . .
Allyce is taking Rainbeau to a local mother-and-baby group. It takes her forty five minutes to pack the bag with the change mat, nappies, wipes, nappy bags Sudocrem, milk, muslins, teething powders, rice cakes, bibs, Calpol, spare clothes, dummy, first aid kit, Mr Bun-Bun and hand gel.
The playgroup is two minutes away.
_____________
The hospital follows Jasmine's birth plan so she can have a drug-free delivery.
'I am glad it was all natural,' shouts Jasmine over the hissing and beeping and clanking and the hum of the lights.
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
The PERFECT GIFT for that superhero, saint, figure of worship or, if none of those apply, your plain dear old dad.
'Shawn has set up his own firework display in the garden.
"Those big displays are rubbish," he tells his son. "You can't see a thing."
When Shawn's son has seen the firework, they will go back indoors.
Fireworks are more expensive than Shawn expected.'
_______
'"What does a hippopotamus eat, dad?' asks Philip
'Children who ask for stuff in the gift shop,' says his dad.
Being a dad is brilliant.'"
_______
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' STYLIST
The essential guide for those looking to reinvent themselves starting next week, next month or next year . . .
Stella spent £190 on make-up designed to achieve that 'no make-up ' look.
She had a promo code for the website, so has saved herself £10 on looking as though she has spent nothing.
__________
Duncan has spent the last two years since separating from his ex-wife working out.
He tweets a selfie from the gym every day, with a message like 'Swole AF #ripped'.
He has nine Twitter followers. Even the corporate account for Holland and Barratt has unfollowed him.
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Red Tape, The Meeting, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.
THE PERFECT GIFT for all of the 'GROWN-UPS' still wondering what life is all about.
Talking about the farmer's market:
How much are these carrots?
What, per kilogram?
Each? Really? What does 'heritage' mean?
Could I just have an onion, then, please?
Oh. Do you take credit cards?
_____________
Talking about running:
Why am I running? Where am I going?
Do I want a longer life if I have to spend so much of it running?
Why aren't I at home? Am I running away from home? Am I scared of home? Why is my brain full of weird, horrible thoughts? Is it because running is so very, very boring?
Why did I forget my headphones?
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
The perfect companion for those extremely hardworking colleagues, who like to pull sickies . . .
'Lawrence and Ben are enjoying a bout of imaginary food poisoning.
Food poisoning is always good because it's over quickly and nobody likes to hear stories about toilets.'
__________
'When Jesse gets home from a very big party, he phones his manager and leaves a message. Now he does not have to get up early to call in sick.
'Calling the office at 3:07am is exactly what someone with a real cold would do,' Jesse thinks to himself as he falls asleep on his stairs with a kebab for a pillow.'
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Red Tape, The Meeting, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris
Stuck at home? Annoyed by your neighbours? Then let this helpful guide tell you all about The People Next Door . . .
'Logan is reporting his next-door neighbour to the police again.
This time, it's for using a hairdryer before 8am. Last time, it was for trespass by blossom.
'You again,' says the duty sergeant, and gets the forms.
__________
'Rachel and Robert's neighbour Mrs Vavasour has complained to the council about their hedge, their cat and the colour of their front door.
The morning after Rachel left her hair straighteners plugged in, Mrs Vavasour complains to the council that she was kept awake by a bright, flickering orange light and the sound of exploding wood.'
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Zombie Apocalypse, The Meeting, and more.
These days there are rules for everything and terrible consequences for disobeying them. Find out how easy it is tie yourself in knots with Red Tape . . .
'Your call is important to us,' says the lady on the help-line.
The call is important because it is currently making the company 48p per minute.'
__________
'Sam has forgotten her password so she cannot access her e-mail account.
She can reset her password using a memorable name, but she has forgotten her memorable name too, so the account locks.
Sam automatically receives a link so she can reset her password.
It is sent to her e-mail account.'
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Sicke, The Meeting, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.
Learn all about the different kinds of meetings - brainstorms, catch-ups, face-to-face, virtual, unattended - and how to avoid them completely . . .
'People at work spend a lot of the day in meetings.
Meetings are important because they give everyone a chance to talk about work.
Which is easier than doing it.'
__________
'Rudd attends meetings remotely from his home office.
He has three telephones, two Swiss desk intercoms, a fax machine and a wall-mounted theremin.
Sometimes nobody speaks to him for days.'
__________
This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'Hilarious' Stylist
Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Sickie, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.