Roman Garstang Disasters
6 total works
A jam-fuelled week of disaster is set in motion by a single doughnut!
Roman Garstang is obsessed with food - particularly Squidgy Splodge raspberry-jam doughnuts - but he is about to learn that things are not always as sugar-coated as they might seem. Because of his Monday-morning jam doughnut, Roman's week takes a very sticky turn . . .
By Friday Roman has been banned from eating for 24hrs, narrowly avoided a faceful of warm toddler-wee, accidentally shoplifted, been given a lift in a getaway van, styled his teacher's guinea pig with a blue mohawk, started an OAP riot . . . and still barely managed to scoff a crumb - or lick - of a single doughnut.
Who knew jam could be so deadly?
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM
The fourth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series
Incredibly, unbelievably, Roman's cousin is marrying the cousin of Rosie Taylor (AKA The Worst Person Who Ever Lived) cousin. Roman can't believe this (as Rosie says: "How can we be in the same family, we're barely in the same species"). Rosie's parents decide they should go along together and "make a weekend of it". Roman's plus one is his best friend Gamble (probably the naughtiest kid in Europe) - and it's the beginning of another big, messy, catastrophic and uproarious adventure for Roman - with Winnebagos, illegal thrash metal festivals and campsite beauty contests all thrown into the mix ...
Mark Lowery is far too funny - Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM
Roman endures a royal visit and a school fashion show - in a jumper knitted by his Grandma . . .
Grandma has come to stay for the royal visit by Princess Lucy to launch her new badger charity, 'Badges for Badgers'. Which would be fine, if she hadn't knitted Roman the crummiest jumper (AKA "crumper") on earth that he's forced to wear to school. His whole class is in a fundraising frenzy, led by fame-crazy Rosie Taylor who is convinced that organising a charity fashion show is bound to win her favour with the princess. And in a bid of fierce cruelty she has sponsored Roman to wear his crumper ALL WEEK, even after Gamble tries to flush it down the toilet.
When the jumper causes a swan attack and a biker to swerve off the road, can Roman keep his whole life from unravelling? A new side-splitting story in the Roman Garstang Disaster series.
An outdoor adventure trip is one thing, but can Roman Garstang survive a chicken nugget-only diet?
Roman Garstang is all set for his class trip to Farm View outdoor survival centre. There are only three issues:
1. With Darren Gamble as his new 'BFF' how can Roman make friends with funny, cool girl Vanya?
2. Roman will be sharing a tent with Kevin (AKA 'The Pukelear Missile') for THREE DAYS
3. Mum has prescribed a strict chicken nugget-only diet (Seriously?!)
It's time to put his new survival skills to the test . . .
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM
The fifth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series
It's the end of term for Roman - the last week ever of primary school, in fact. And in what should be an unremarkable, tying-things-up kind of week, Roman's class get the opposite - a very special visitor. One Jason Grooves - ex-pupil turned mega-famous singer. Jason is back at school to film his new reality TV show - Jason: Grooving on to the Next Chapter. He's got big plans, and he wants Roman and all the class to get in with the action. Filming, proms, auditions, charity gigs and the launch of his brand-new food lines, including some very special spaghetti hoops ...
All Roman Garstang wants is a quiet life. But is he going to get one? You bet not ...
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM
The sixth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series
It is the month before Christmas, and Roman's class is preparing for the Christmas fete and the school pantomime. The new teacher at the helm - the awful Mr Le Salle, a flamboyant, theatrical and downright nasty piece of work - is the least of Roman's worries. He also has to contend with the most rubbish role in the panto (being a box) as well as organising the Santa's grotto stall at the Christmas fete with loose cannon Darren Gamble. As the panto nears, it seems that everything that could possibly go wrong is about to. It is left to Roman to save the panto and the day ...