Jane
Written on Oct 23, 2016
I DNF at 180 pages. The first chapters were fun and great; I grew more and more curious to learn about what exactly happened to Levi. But then the sentence structure remained the same, on and on for both perspectives. And the girl starts falling for Levi, and that...that really did it in for me -- hard -- because Levi was nothing but mean to her. Maybe I have a hard time with the romance between he and Delilah because it has so many signs of an abusive relationship, and I survived an abusive home environment and, later, a boyfriend on his way to becoming abusive.
After some research, I learned "Remember to Forget" is fanfiction. As with "Fifty Shades of Grey", fanfiction doesn't make the best of novels. Basing the characters on real-life people right down to their appearance is freaky, questionable and unoriginal.
The mindset of a depressed person was, at times, on point -- but most of the time, I felt as though Levi was just blaming his mean attitude on the depression: he's mean. Mean people can be depressed, but when a mean person is mean and bordering on abusive, it's not cute anymore -- it's not acceptable. There is a problem, and...it needs to be dealt with. If abusive people are romanticised as people who can be fixed by a significant other in time, then kids are going to continuously ignore the signs of abuse and get into abusive relationships. I mean, I was a Team Edward Cullen gal; I thought a boyfriend as mysterious and "loving" as Edward was what a perfect boyfriend was.
Really, "Remember to Forget" felt like a stretch: Levi and Delilah were practically shoved against each other. Why does Levi intrigue Delilah? Why does this new guy suddenly matter to her? It has to be deeper than "because he's attractive" or "because he's new, and she likes him because she sees all the other guys in town as brothers". Stephanie Meyer explained Bella's sudden popularity despite appearing "average": she was someone new to look at. Give us some substance.
I lost interest in "Remember to Forget" courtesy of not only the repetitive sentence structure again and again and again and again, but due to the disconnect between the characters and I. I related more to Levi's parents than Levi or Delilah themselves. As someone who is frequently nonverbal not as a choice, but more because I simply cannot handle talking/verbal communication during that particular time, I found Levi's choice to not talk really insulting. I understand if it's a choice, but 1) therapists typically look into nonverbal behavior and consider alternative therapy methods, and 2) be more respectful and don't make it all out to be an act of defiance. It needs a little more realism, from taking one plane from Australia to the USA, to the therapist appointment -- what therapist with a valid license allows someone else inside their appointment room with a patient? There is paperwork upon paperwork of consent required for this kind of thing.
With this said, I don't think the author is to blame. With it being published into a physical book by a publishing company, the publishing company is more at fault for [I assume] taking the work as it was and changing nothing (i.e. not explaining any faults to the author to help guide her through the story-writing process) -- just publishing it for sales, because that seems to be the majority deciding point of the publishing world: Will it sell, and how can I sell this?
If the author is to take anything away from this review, I'd prefer it be
1. Develop your syntax. And your syntax. Even when using first-person POV, not every sentence (or even every other or every third sentence) needs to begin with "I". Reading "I" and "I" and "I" over and over and over again ages faster than humans.
2. Develop original characters. Make someone from scratch. Infuse traits and mannerisms in them you admire in others, but view them as real people -- as real as Katniss Everdeen, but not actually as Jennifer Lawrence, and not precisely the way Suzanne Collins created them. Create your own people, similarly to the way you create your Sims characters. Rumor Has It... was an entertaining movie, but The Girl in the Book was bittersweet and thought-provoking.
- In developing the characters, you need to get to know them. Would you be friends with them in real life? What's their favorite movie, book, song, color and food? If they look to their right, what will they see? What are they doing right now? Give them depth and substance; make them real. Characters aren't real because they're real people; they're real because they're given stories.
3. Show, not tell. On with syntax: There's too much telling.
