kymmiejournals
Written on Jun 14, 2018
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Prestigious. Powerful. Privileged. This is Fullbrook Academy, an elite prep school where history looms in the leafy branches over its brick walkways. But some traditions upheld in its hallowed halls are profoundly dangerous.
I was incensed. Filled with rage, yes, but the word "incensed" has a deeper meaning. It was first used to describe fire-breathing animals on medieval coats of arms -- and that's exactly how I felt right then, like I wanted to breathe fire and burn their aggressive laughter right up in smoke.
Toxic masculinity is defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men to express, including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the "alpha male") and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.
He stole something else. Something deeper -- like the voice inside my head, the thought before my word, the rest before my heart. He took it, and everywhere I went, I walked as a person with something missing. I want it back.
it was more how everyone acted. Like cruelty was currency, and the meaner you were, the richer you were.
I once heard another girl put it like this: This is a boys' school and they accept girls here too.
No woman had walked on the moon. And when she did, because surely that would happen one day -- wouldn't it? -- there would be all the jokes, because that was also inevitable. For every achievement there was always the joke intended to take it away.
I guess I hadn't said anything when I'd seen others be that way to her. Collateral damage is real. What about collateral accountability? I hadn't thought about that.
At a place like Fullbrook, a man could do whatever he wanted to me, to anyone, and get away with it.