Conversations with Friends

by Sally Rooney

'Sally Rooney writes with a rare, thrilling confidence, in a lucid and exacting style uncluttered with the sort of steroidal imagery and strobe flashes of figurative language that so many dutifully literary novelists employ. This isn't to say that the novel lacks beauty. Its richness blooms quietly.'
New Yorker

Frances, Bobbi, Nick and Melissa ask each other endless questions. As their relationships unfold, in person and online, they discuss sex and friendship, art and literature, politics and gender, and, of course, one another. Twenty-one-year-old Frances is at the heart of it all, bringing us this tale of a complex ménage-à-quatre and her affair with Nick, an older married man.

You can read Conversations with Friends as a romantic comedy, or you can read it as a feminist text. You can read it as a book about infidelity, about the pleasures and difficulties of intimacy, or about how our minds think about our bodies. However you choose to read it, it is an unforgettable novel about the possibility of love.

'Rooney shares with Plath a knack for particularising a feminine consciousness, and this novel is the best I've read on what it means to be young and female right now.' Daily Mail

'The kind of novel that young women transitioning into adulthood in the early 21st century may one day call "seminal".'
Evening Standard

'A novel of ideas that is driven by character; a very compelling combination.'
Daily Telegraph, FIVE STARS * * * * *
'Hugely enjoyable romantic comedy' Metro, FIVE STARS * * * * *
'Truly beguiles... Heralds a fresh new voice in fiction' Stylist, FIVE STARS * * * * *

• ISBN10: 0571333125
• ISBN13: 9780571333127
• Publish Date: 25 May 2017
• Publish Status: Active
• Out of Print: 7 April 2021
• Publish Country: GB
• Imprint: Faber & Faber
• Edition: Main
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 336
• Language: English

Reviews

[Bianca]

I was like an empty cup, which [he] had emptied out, and now I had to look at what had spilled out of me: all my delusional beliefs about my own value and my pretensions to being a kind of person I wasn’t. While I was full of these things I couldn’t see them. Now that I was nothing, only an empty glass, I could see everything about myself.

We all crave affection from others. But often we don’t allow them to see us for who we truly are. We refuse to show our feelings, because we don’t want to be seen as weak and vulnerable. So instead, we act cold and distant, and in the process, feel miserable and unloved. Not everyone would like this book. The characters are self-absorbed and pretentious, and the relationships are unconventional. But I think that was the point. To show that because of our fear of showing our weaknesses and true selves, we somehow end up being terrible people to others. It’s a book about what it means to be kind and about accepting our vulnerabilities not as flaws, but as parts of what make us who we are.

[clementine]

I definitely understand why people wouldn't enjoy this one. The characters aren't particularly likeable; their political posturing is insufferable. There isn't really any character growth, which could be frustrating. But... I still liked it. It's full of irony and subverted expectations: that these people can talk endlessly about radical politics while still living privileged lives, that despite the novel's overt centering around conversations it's actually about the repeated, sustained failure to communicate, that the sex scenes are a bit pathetic. It's doing a lot, and I find that fascinating, although I can also see how "a novel winkingly doing clever things with smug, annoying characters" could tip to the other side of the scale. The ending is quite limp and I liked that, too, because while these characters all consider themselves intelligent and politically-radical they're actually all wet blankets who are incapable of making good choices. I kind of liked Nick despite everything, though, I must admit.

[Joséphine]

Initial thoughts: Conversations with Friends challenges the reader to put aside any prejudice and to keep an open mind. The main character, a 21-year-old university student, is distant, believes she's wholly undeserving of attention or affection, yet fancies herself a great deal more intelligent than most, all while making a series of poor choices.

This psychological exploration of her life takes the reader through ambiguous relationships, politics, religion, familial ties, mental illness, and more. These are driven by seemingly empty conversations bordering on inane that at the same time carry much more weight when you dig deeper. For better or for worse, the plot did suffer, as a result.

Listening to the audiobook helped me connect to the characters more than I would've reading the print version. It allowed me to slip into the conversations, as though I had been present in those moments myself. They reminded me of my own university days, when friends related experiences and thoughts under the stars at 3 a.m. when they knew they'd face no judgment.

Despite the unlikable nature of the characters involved, I found myself drawn into their spheres. They made me think about my own failures and triumphs in ways that only introspective books can. No doubt, this book encompassed the messiness and complications we all face in life, although in the case of Conversations with Friends, much of that could've been avoided with more good sense. Then again, if we were all perfect, what stories would be left to tell?