A Grief Observed (Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, #3) (Linford Inspirational Library)

by C. S. Lewis

The perennial classic: this intimate journal chronicling the Narnia author's experience of grief after his wife's death has consoled readers for half a century with its 'sensitive and eloquent' magic (Hilary Mantel)

'An intimate, anguished account of a man grappling with the mysteries of faith and love ... Elegant and raw ... A powerful record of thought and emotion experienced in real time.' Guardian

'Raw and modern ... This unsentimental, even bracing, account of one man's dialogue with despair becomes both compelling and consoling ... A contemporary classic.' Observer

'A source of great consolation ... Lewis deploys his genius for vivid imagery ... It is a relief for the reader to find that he or she is not alone in the intense loneliness or feelings of anguish that bereavement brings.' Henry Marsh, The Times

'Testimony from a sensitive and eloquent witness [on] 'The Human Condition'. It offers an interrogation of experience and a glimmer of hardwon hope. It allows one bewildered mind to reach out to another. Death is no barrier to that.' Hilary Mantel

'Here, sorrow and despair, the tiredness and numbness and petulance and nightmarishness of grief, all have their full, uncontrolled, experienced force ... [Such] radical openness ... Brilliant.' Francis Spufford

***

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

Narnia author C.S. Lewis had been married to his wife for four blissful years. When she died of cancer, he found himself alone, inconsolable in his grief. In this intimate journal, he chronicles the aftermath of the bereavement and mourning with blazing honesty. He grapples with a crisis of religious faith, navigating hope, rage, despair, and love - but eventually regains his bearings, finding his way back to life.

A luminous modern classic, A Grief Observed has offered solace to countless readers for decades. This companion edition combines the original text with personal responses from Hilary Mantel, Rowan Williams, Francis Spufford, Maureen Freely, Kate Saunders, Jessica Martin and Jenna Bailey.

***

What readers are saying:

'A truly great book - inspirational and untold help.'

'Every human being, living or dead, understands what Lewis means ... One of the most valuable books ever written.'

'Lewis, as always, sits down next to you and validates your grief like a true friend. He lets you rage, and cry, and even be furious with God, just as he did.'

'If you are grieving an enormous loss, you may find comfort here ... A great mind and wonderful writer who understands your grief well enough to put words to it.'

'His journal was also my journal as I worked through my own grief. Reading this book was actually comforting in that I knew that someone else understood my situation and offered insight and hope ... I highly recommend this book for anyone who has gone through the death of a loved one or who wants to comfort."

'This little book has had me in floods of tears [and] shows a real understanding of grief ... To read the words of this great man who shared and understood my pain and is a life affirming and faith affirming experience.'

• ISBN10: 057129068X
• ISBN13: 9780571290680
• Publish Date: 2 May 2013 (first published December 1961)
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: GB
• Imprint: Faber & Faber
• Edition: Main
• Format: Paperback (B-Format (198x129 mm))
• Pages: 64
• Language: English

Reviews

[brokentune]

This review was first published on BookLikes: http://brokentune.booklikes.com/post/821471/c-s-lewis-follow-up-a-grief-observed


Just over a week ago I wrote a review of The Problem of Pain, one of Lewis' early works, in which I tried (and failed) to come to terms with Lewis' notion that pain is an expression of divine love and an instrument of God's to shape humans into more complex beings.

As some of my BL friends have aptly pointed out, Lewis wrote The Problem of Pain from a theoretical and rather detached point of view. The Problem of Pain does (of course) not reflect on the profound personal experience he was to have years later and which gave birth to his book A Grief Observed.

A Grief Observed originated as a collection of journals which Lewis wrote after his wife passed away from cancer and which he used to help him cope with his loss. I would not go so far as to say he was trying to make sense of his loss because A Grief Observed clearly portrays a man who struggles with the notion that there is a purpose to loss, to pain, to suffering. And this is where A Grief Observed becomes so much more important than The Problem of Pain - Lewis, the professor, no longer claims to know all the answers. However, Lewis, the man, dares to challenge his convictions, his longstanding ideas, and ultimately his faith, in search of a way of coping with his own grief on very real - non-hypothetical - terms.

There is so much more I want to write about A Grief Observed, but nothing I can type is an adequate reflection of the sheer emotional and intellectual challenge this book was to me. When I say emotional challenge I do not compare it to the cheesy purposely-moving-to-tears gimmicky works of some other authors. A Grief Observed is an utterly frank, unpretentious, account of a man who is in pain, and it is the frankness and helplessness experienced by him - like by many others of us in - that, even though it may not give a purpose to pain itself, gives a great deal of meaning to book. Not in the sense of sympathy with Lewis, but as a proof of the bond of our shared humanity.

After all, as William Nicholson puts it so elegantly in his bio-pic about C.S. Lewis: "We read to know that we are not alone."

[Jo]

Originally posted on Once Upon a Bookcase.

My Mum was recommended A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis when my Grandad passed away seven years ago, but never got around to buying a copy. She remembered the recommendation after our recent loss of a good friend, and so bought the book. Hoping it might help, I borrowed it, and it's a great little book.

After the death of his wife, Joy Davidson, C.S. Lewis wrote a journal of his thoughts and feelings; his sadness, his love for his wife, his issues with God during that period, and how he slowly finds his way through the agony and despair of bereavement.

As I said, I originally picked up A Grief Observed hoping it would help me with my own grief, and in a small way it did, in that I identified with some of what thought and felt. But what I didn't expect was just how much I was bowled over by Lewis' love for his wife, rather than his grief over her passing; through his grief, his love for his wife is so evident, it's startlingly beautiful despite the sadness. I would strongly recommend people pick A Grief Observed up if only for this alone - I love a good epic love story in my fiction, but nothing really comes close to how amazing it is to read a person's true, real feelings written down so honestly. It's raw, and it's real, and it's wonderful.

You can tell as you're reading that this wasn't written with the intention for it to be published. Whatever he thought about getting the book published after he was finished with it and past his grief, it doesn't say, but as he was writing, it was very much just for him, and feels so personal. There would be moments were he is talking about a particular idea, a notion of God as the "Cosmic Sadist", and the very next paragraph he'll say he wrote the previous the night before when he was in a rage, and he didn't actually mean it. Because of this, you're very much aware that he's writing as a release; a way to express everything he's thinking and feeling and just get it all out. Unlike a memoir, where the author talks about the past from the present, A Grief Observed is very much in the moment of Lewis' grief. So personal. I felt like I was intruding, yet at the same time so privileged to be getting such an insight into the mind of someone so great in a very private and personal time.

Lewis was devoutly religious, and so his views of God and his faith in the wake of his wife's death are greatly discussed. As an atheist, this wasn't very helpful for me personally, but I found it reassuring on behalf of my Mum, who is religious. Lewis talks about how he doesn't doubt that God exists because his wife has died, but rages about how he feels like he's been deserted by God when he needs him most:

"Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be - or so it feels - welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence." (p7)

He has all these questions about God and his faith as he grieves, questions I can imagine my Mum asking herself, and what is so wonderful is that as Lewis slowly makes his way through, he discovers reasons that make perfect sense as to why God wasn't there. He comes through, his doubts disappear, and his faith and love for God is as strong as ever. I believe this being immensely comforting to the religious when they feel their belief wavering in times of grief, so they feel less lost, less deserted, and that they'll find God's presence again once they work their way through the sharpest pain of grief. To know that this book could possibly help my Mum feel less lost makes me so very grateful.

I was also amazed at the sheer clarity Lewis has despite being so hung up on his grief. He used the most brilliant metaphors to describe his pain, or his thoughts about God and his faith. I especially liked the one where he describes grief being like a person losing a leg; the amputee will heal, but he will still have lost a leg, and will have to learn a new way of living without his leg, learn to use a wooden leg, and may still feel aches and pains in his stump. Or the one about believing his faith is like the sturdiest of buildings, but not realising until his faith is tested that it's actually just a house of cards that is easily knocked down. A Grief Observed is full of clever metaphors such as these to get across exactly what he is thinking and feeling, and it's amazing that he is about to put such thoughts and feelings into these ideas when his heart is so heavy.

In all, a fantastic little book, one I would highly recommend as an poweful, personal insight into one of our great authors, but also to help those who are religious through the doubts that come with grief.