Name: I'Ll be Gone in the Dark
Rating: 4.11 (27 reviews)

I think we need to acknowledge that there is always something sinister about true crime. Even when done sensitively and with humanity, as Gillian Flynn writes of McNamara’s work, complex people with decades worth of life are turned into simply victims; horrific acts are arranged and natrativized to make them commercially viable; we crave salacious details, the sicker the better.

I’m fully complicit in this, by the way. I’ve indulged in a shared fascination with serial killers since high school. For women, I think so much of it comes down to the idea that brutal murderer has some proximity to our lives, that any one of us has the potential to be the pseudonymous women written about for decades. Our experiences of harassment, assault, violence don’t seem all that far away from the fates of these victims. The idea of serial killers walking among us, undetected for years, possibly being in our orbits, is fascinating. There’s this idea of could-be-me mixed with the relief of knowing that it probably won’t be.

So I understand where McNamara’s fascination comes from, and I do think her writing is evocative and sensitive, straying as far from lurid accounts as possible. But it’s just a feature of the genre, really. And isn’t that part of what makes true crime so appealing, that we know somewhere that there’s an ethical dilemma in commodifying people’s suffering but that we can’t look away? Especially when a book is so meticulously-researched, so well-written that it can easily claim to be above all the rest? (And it is; I don’t think all true crime writing is the same at all, and I think it should err more towards this side of things.) But in the end we’re still finding entertainment in the rape and murder of so many.

This is a compelling book. I read it quickly and enjoyed every page. I recommend it to fans of true crime, especially those who are interested in the meta aspects of the genre. In certain progressive sects of academia it’s becoming common for the author to insert herself into her writing, making herself and her biases known rather than pretending to be writing from an imagined omniscient viewpoint. McNamara does this beautiful, weaving in her own personal narrative with that of the Golden State Killer. We come to understand her motivations for pursuing this case so doggedly, which appear to be relatively “pure”. Her psychological struggles are laid bare, the promise of pursuit followed by the devastation of dead ends. The book is made all the more potent by McNamara’s premature death, the idea of unfinished business and an obsession never fully realized.

I appreciate that McNamara is so even in her writing; she never puts forth wild theories or blames victims. She merely includes what evidence she finds pertinent and compelling. And in the wake of the GSK’s arrest in April, her sharpness becomes apparent. Many of the details that she thought important enough to include in the book turned out to be true. For example, the idea that he was ex-cop or ex-military (he was both), or that he likely grew up in Rancho Cordova. She had an incredible handle on the case, a connection to it that legitimizes the book. It’s not any less fascinating now that GSK has been found; if anything, it’s almost more interesting matching up the details in the book with what we now know.

I wish that McNamara had been able to finish this book, because it does unfortunately peter off and there were elements of repetition and disjointedness. It feels like her team was reticent to revise her work too much, knowing that she was the expert and that their knowledge could never come close. But it could have used some tightening up. However, I think this is an ambitious project well-realized. It’s sure to become a true crime classic.

My review and an extended sample of the audiobook are posted at Hotlistens.com.

4.5 stars

I’ve been on a kick of reading books about serial killers (I blame Lorelei King when she talked about narrating [b:The Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy: The Shocking Inside Story|15654|The Stranger Beside Me Ted Bundy The Shocking Inside Story|Ann Rule|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1330072383s/15654.jpg|1353958] by Anne Rule in her interview for Audiobook Month in 2017). I had to listen. I had actually read the book in high school, but forgot that I had. Then I went on to listen to [b:John Wayne Gacy: Defending a Monster|9650142|John Wayne Gacy Defending a Monster|Sam L. Amirante|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1391341911s/9650142.jpg|14537659] by Judge Sam L. Amirante and Danny Broderick. Then I was building the post for Gabra Zachman’s interview for Audiobook Month in 2018, and I learned that she read the book that everyone is talking about, after the capture of Golden State Killer, I’ll Be Gone in the Dark. I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to listen to this book.

Now, there were several differences between this book and the two I listened to previously. One, this entire book wasn’t written by Michelle McNamara. She died prior to the book being finished. I do feel that the editor did a great job of pulling together Michelle’s notes to get as much of the research that she had into the book, but there is a huge difference between McNamara’s writing and what was put together after she died. She just had a great way of telling her story and you can really feel her passion in the way she writes, that just isn’t the same on on the parts she didn’t.

The second thing is that this book was written before anyone even knew who the Golden State Killer was. Hell, Michelle McNamara is the one to give this serial killer and rapist that name. She is the one who figured out that several suspects (Original Night Stalker, Visalia Ransacker and East Area Rapist, aka EAR) were all the same person. The two books I listened to, both killers had been convicted. The first one, Bundy had been convicted when the book was originally released, but had several Afterwords that were added in later additions as more came out until he was finally put to death. Gacy’s book was written after he was already put to death. This really changed how to the story felt, because there really wasn’t a conclusion to the story. And unfortunately, McNamara will never be able to write her Afterword to give her book the conclusion that Anne Rule was able to do with hers.

This book is the columlation of Michelle McNamara’s obsession with cold cases going back decades. She had a true crime website called TrueCrimeDiary. She had a fascination with the death of a girl, Kathleen Lombardo, who lived two blocks from Michelle. That just drove her to research more and more. And boy, did she learn how to research. I think she was better at it than the police (who lack for time and resources, very often, especially on cold cases). Even in the book, she talks about leaving Hollywood parties (her husband is actor/comedian Patton Oswalt) because she learned a new fact that she needed to do more digging on.

Michelle’s doggedness in pursuing this case was astounding. In a typical instance, she tracked down a pair of cuff links that had been stolen from a Stockton crime scene in 1977 on the website of a vintage store in Oregon. But she didn’t do just this; she could also tell you that “boys’ names beginning in N were relatively rare, appearing only once in the top one hundred names of the 1930s and ’40s, when the original owner of the cuff links was likely born.” Mind you, this isn’t even a clue leading to the killer; it’s a clue leading to the cuff links the killer stole. This dedication to particulars was typical. Writes Michelle: “I once spent an afternoon tracking down every detail I could about a member of the 1972 Rio Americano High School water polo team because in the yearbook photo, he appeared lean and to have big calves” — a possible trait of the Golden State Killer.

Michelle did a great job of showing the terror of the people in California when this was going on. She give just enough details to really let you know how bad things are, without getting grumesome or crude with the murders and rapes. You could really feel her compassion for the victims and even the law enforcement officers who lived through this man’s reign of terror.

The case had a profound impact not just on fear and public safety in California, but also on the way that rapes were investigated and how rape victims were treated, said Carol Daly, a detective in the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Office at the time…Rape victims were seen and cared for faster, and pubic hair, scratches and other evidence were examined and preserved, she said. Rape kits were standardized. “Every victim went through the process,” she said. – From 4/25/18 – NY TIMES article

I was very impressed with everything Michelle did in research and investigating this killer. She had so much information going back many decades. How she made sense of it all is pretty amazing. Add all of that her ability to write really blew me away. I think the only thing that could’ve made this better would be if she had lived to see it all the way to the end (no disrespect to the people who worked so hard to finish her work so it could be released) and if she had the ability to come back and add the update when Joseph James DeAngelo, 72-year-old Navy veteran and former cop, is arrested. Things I can’t fault anyone for. I hope that she can rest in peace knowing how she helped to bring this Southern California terrorist to justice.

Narration
What to say about the narration of books like this? Listening to a book like this isn’t the same as listening to fiction, no matter how dark or gruesome the fiction story is. This story is about real people who went through some really terrible tramas. The narrator has to make their way through these stories, giving voices to these people, who aren’t characters, their real people. You’re going through the horror that these people went through. You’re constantly repeating names of people who are no longer living because of a killer, who is in a sense, the protagonist of the book you’re reading. Gabra Zackman really nails the narration, as she narrates the majority of the book. Gillian Flynn reads the introduction that she writes, which I’m sure neither were easy. Patton Oswalt, the husband of the late Michelle McNamara, reads the Afterword which he writes, which again, must’ve been extremely difficult for him.

**I like to thank the narrator for providing me with a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

mrs_mander_reads

Written on Oct 14, 2019

This book was INCREDIBLE. I don't think I've ever been so drawn in by a nonfiction work. McNamara was a super talented storyteller, and I'm fascinated by the work she did on this book. Definitely recommend to anyone who enjoys thrillers or murder mysteries, or anyone who enjoys narrative about serial killers or crime.

** I listened to the audio, which is fantastic. **

I'Ll be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer

by Michelle McNamara

Gabra Zackman (Narrator), Gillian Flynn (Narrator), and Patton Oswalt (Narrator)

I'Ll be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer

by Michelle McNamara

Gabra Zackman (Narrator), Gillian Flynn (Narrator), and Patton Oswalt (Narrator)

Reviews

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