A Thousand Perfect Notes: A powerful and thrilling contemporary YA

by C.G. Drews

An emotionally charged story about the power of dreams, and how passion can turn to obsession.

Beck hates his life. He hates his violent mother. He hates his home. Most of all, he hates the piano that his mother forces him to play hour after hour, day after day. He will never play as she did before illness ended her career and left her bitter and broken. But Beck is too scared to stand up to his mother, and tell her his true passion, which is composing his own music - because the least suggestion of rebellion on his part ends in violence.

When Beck meets August, a girl full of life, energy and laughter, love begins to awaken within him and he glimpses a way to escape his painful existence. But dare he reach for it?

Thrilling and powerfully written, this is an explosive debut for YA readers which tackles the dark topic of domestic abuse in an ultimately hopeful tale.

• ISBN10: 1408349906
• ISBN13: 9781408349908
• Publish Date: 7 June 2018
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: GB
• Publisher: Hachette Children's Group
• Imprint: Orchard Books
• Format: Paperback (B-Format (198x129 mm))
• Pages: 288
• Language: English

Reviews

[A Darker Shade of Rosie]

→ LIKED: Gah, the writing was incredible, but if you read Cait’s blog, Paper Fury, you’ll know what a great writer she is. I just love reading her blog, because her quirkiness explodes off the page, and you can just tell how much she likes what she does. • She compares Beck, the main character, to a burnt marshmallow. Love. • All of the characters were captivating and unique in their own, special way. I adored Beck’s little sister, even though she had underlying issues shaped by her mother’s behavior, and even though I despised Beck’s mom, she felt real. A real, albeit hateful, character who you really wanted to root for when it came to development, but just let you down every single time she took out her anger and frustration on her kids. • The pacing was perfect. It didn’t drag or go too fast for me.

→ DISLIKED: Is it fair to knock off a star because the length was unsatisfactory? Cait, make your books longer! • I’m kidding Cait, I appreciate you. • I wish the ending felt a little bit bigger. The climax didn’t feel earth-shattering, which is the only reason I couldn’t give it 5 glowing stars.

✨ See more reviews @ A Darker Shade of Rosie ✨

[alisoninbookland]

It hurts so good. 😭😍

[Liz (Bent Bookworm)]

~*Full review here on The Bent Bookworm!*~

A Thousand Perfect Notes is for anyone who needs a story of hope in darkness, of relief from oppression, of happiness out of pain and sorrow. Not being melodramatic, either.

TW: mental and physical abuse, parental neglect.

He wouldn’t be kissable. He’s piano keys and crumpled music trapped in his soul. Not kissable. Kickable.

Excuse me while I go bawl my eyes out. This book just tore open my soul. I haven’t wanted so badly to protect and take care of a fictional character in a long, LONG time. Let me try to put all these feelings into words.

Beck’s story is one of the harshest I’ve read in the YA genre, and the first I’ve felt it really necessary to post a Trigger Warning for. My heart was bleeding by the time I finished, and trust me – I tore through this book in about two and a half hours. I was just so desperate to see what happened to him!

Beck is not perfect. He sometimes acts in ways that perhaps are not the epitome of kindness and definitely not politeness. But he carries so much pain…mental, physical, emotional. And on top of all that he is ALWAYS HUNGRY. It kills me to think of anyone being really, truly hungry – not just the hangry we all like to joke about when our regular mealtime gets off kilter, but honest-to-god hungry because there isn’t enough food and nowhere except maybe the trash to get it. All my mama bear instincts just want to go on a rampage for the person who would do this to their children.

If people cut him open, they’d never accuse him of being empty. He’s not a shell of a pianist – he’s a composer. Cut his chest and see his heart beat with a song all his own.

Part of the conflict is that while Beck’s mother uses music to contribute to his abuse, Beck has his own musical talent inside him – one that she belittles and says is worthless, but that is desperate to break out of him.

Then there is Joey. Wild, free spirited, painful Joey, the little sister that Beck would do anything for – be anything for – if it meant being able to protect her. Regardless of the personal cost to himself. He sees himself as weak for being unable to stop his mother’s abuse.

The Maestro – Beck’s mother – is a loathsome, vile person. I had such a deep anger boiling in me towards her at the end of the book, I wanted to reach through the pages and physically rescue Beck and Joey myself. Perhaps tripping the Maestro down a very tall flight of stairs in the process. Sadly, while she may SEEM to be a bit over the top, there are far too many people just like her, and even more who are willing to inflict the kind of emotional and mental abuse she deals out to Beck, without necessarily the physical.

August is amazing. While I can see many of the typical “manic pixie girl” characteristics in her, she is still very much her own little quirky self. I loved the repartee between her and her parents, who are awesome in their own right. Yay for having a healthy, loving family to contrast Beck’s horrible mother with!

The ending was satisfying, but still heartbreaking. I am very upset that there is not a sequel planned. 🙁

This might be the most incoherent review I’ve written yet, I’m just so in my feelings about these characters.

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This book completely broke my heart. RTC.

[Jo]

Originally published on Once Upon a Bookcase.

Trigger Warning: This book features child abuse - violence and emotional abuse.

Ever since I heard A Thousand Perfect Notes by C. G. Drews - or, as those in the blogosphere know her, Cait of Paper Fury - was being published, I've been desperate to read it. And I'm so, so, so happy to say that it's absolutely incredible.

On the orders of his mother, the Maestro, Beck is a pianist. Once a famous pianist herself, since a stroke left her with nerve damage, she has been unable to play, and is full of anger. As she can't play, Beck will, he must. Nothing is as important to the Maestro as the piano, and playing it perfectly - which Beck is incapable of, according the Maestro. No matter how much he practises, he is never good enough, and not being good enough is not acceptable. The Maestro rules with her fists and sharp words, both raining down on Beck whenever he disappoints her. Beck lives a miserable life, with no friends and no time for himself, as every second spent outside of school has to be spent practising. The only joy in Beck's life is his little sister, Joey, and the secret music he composes in his head. Music he can never let out. But then, when they are put together for a school project, Beck meets August, who turns his world upside down. She shows him kindness and affection, and doesn't disappear, no matter how rude he is to her. It's not something he's used to, and he's desperate for the friendship August offers. But if the Maestro finds out, the consequences could be severe.

I was really worried about reading A Thousand Perfect Notes. Because it's written by a fellow book blogger, I was scared about what I'd do if I didn't like it. But I needn't have worried, because it was just brilliant. A Thousand Perfect Notes is not an easy book to read. It's dark and upsetting, as you watch watch Beck's mother berate and abuse him over and over and over again. She doesn't have a kind word to say to him, constantly putting him down and swearing at him in German. Because of this, Beck has very low self-worth, and tends to believe what the Maestro tells him. He tries so hard to please her, thinking if he just got the pieces she wants him to play right, she might smile at him, or offer some praise. It never comes. It doesn't matter what he does, there is always something wrong with his playing, and he pays for it. Every. Single. Time. It's horrific, and it only gets worse as the story goes on.

It's also written incredibly beautifully. I'm used to Drews' writing from her blog, Paper Fury, so I was expecting something similar, and while I saw Drews in the lighter moments, it was completely different writing style. But of course it would be; one is a book, the other is her book blog. Even so, I was still amazed at Drews' writing - at the gorgeous imagery. It's a strange feeling, reading something so terrible and being so sad by it, but also delighting in the wonderful writing.

'If he stretches to care about something else - like what the Maestro thinks of him or how he fails at school or what he really wants to do with his life - he'd be pulled too thin. His skin will part like old paper and the world will see how his skeleton is made of dark wishes and macabre dreams. They'll know his heart thumps to the beat of the Maestro's metronome because it's too scared to do otherwise.
But worst?
They'll see the emptiness inside him.
Being a pianist is stitched on his skin, but his bones are tattooed with the whispers of you fake, you fake.' (p17)*

This is just one example of Drews' ability to weave words into something beautiful, while also pulling so hard on your heart strings. This quote also gives a good idea of the mood throughout the novel. It is sad and upsetting, and just so awful.

But that doesn't mean the story is dark and horrifying throughout. When Beck meets August, she shines some light into his world. Because of his low self-esteem, he doesn't understand why she wants to know him, especially when he keeps being rude to keep her away, because the consequences would be unthinkable for him if his mother found out. But she keeps coming back. She's light and sunny, quirky and joyful - she's pretty much what Beck needs. She can see his sadness and his misery, she knows something isn't right, if she doesn't know what specifically, and she's determined to do what she can to help him, even if that's just to be his friend and spend small amounts of time with him. She's pretty damn wonderful. And it's just so gorgeous watching their friendship develop. It does kind of blossom into a slow-burn romance, but that's nowhere near as important as the friendship between them. August doesn't save Beck, but she does open his eyes. To what life could be like, to how he should be treated. To the fact that he is deserving of love and care and concern and affection. That there could be more for him. She helps his self-esteem just by treating him with respect and kindness, and that change has an affect on his story.

Then there's Joey, Beck's little sister. She is adorable and hilarious, but also full of spirit and grit. She is has all the self-confidence that comes from being a five-year-old. She is brilliant, just because she is. She wants to be a chef, and breakfasts and lunches are down to her; sandwiches with cereal and dry pasta are pretty much the norm in their house. She's a ball of energy, and it's just hilarious to see her swear at Beck in German when he doesn't do what she wants - but also really, really upsetting at the same time, because she's picking it up at home from their mother. She's witnessing everything, and she's copying. And Beck keeps getting reports of her violent behaviour to other classmates. It's just terrible. But she is an absolutely darling, and I completely loved her. She is so, so funny. When Beck and August are having a conversation on the way home from school, where they're talking about a band August loves, Twice Burgundy, and how she wants to marry about the Burgundies, and Joey says, "Who's marrying a burger? I want to marry a burger." (p118) Just adorable and so, so funny! Look at this:

'"When I'm a chef," Joey announces, "I'm going to have a big pink knife. Like a massive one." She makes a chopping motion. "Then I'm cut things up. BAM."
"What about a pink spoon?" Beck says. "Or a pink whisk?"
Joey gives him a you're-an-idiot-why-do-I-have-to-put-up-with-you look. "Can you cut things up with a whisk, Schwachkopf? I want a knife."
Of course she does. Tiny, scary, violent child.' (p39)*

How can anyone fail to love this child?! I adore her, and I would quite like to adopt her.

But none of the lightness takes away from the fact that this is a serious novel, and it's so powerful! The ending almost killed me, I swear. It was absolutely horrific, and I was so distraught, I simply wasn't able to cry. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they do, and my heart just about stopped. It's horrible, and terrifying, and completely heartbreaking. But through meeting August, Beck discovers hope - hope that things can be different, hope for a better life. And it's so absolutely beautiful. A Thousand Perfect Notes is such an amazing story, an amazing debut, and I implore you to read it.

*All quotes have been checked against a finished copy.

Thank you to Orchard Books via NetGalley for the eProof.

[Amber (The Literary Phoenix)]

Anyone who picks up A Thousand Perfect Notes needs to be prepared to have their heart brutally ground into the pavement.

This novel is heartbreaking. It's the story of a boy born to a mother who could not fulfill her dreams, so she lives vicariously through him as best she can and when he does not live up to her expectations, she rains Hell's wrath on to him. Trigger warnings in this novel for domestic abuse (physical, mental, and emotions) abound. You don't often see this sort of relationship in YA novels (I've only seen it once before, in [b:The Hearts We Sold|26309792|The Hearts We Sold|Emily Lloyd-Jones|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1493649801s/26309792.jpg|46309051]).

C.G. Drews writes masterfully. She adopts a somewhat untraditionally formatting style at times, but the way the book is broken apart perfects the flow. We are given dynamic, interesting characters and a hero who is not a hero most the time, but does his best. To whatever end. I loved the way the story ended because it was real and right and not cheesy. It offers hope and a little sadness. It was beautifully done.

The whole novel was carefully and beautifully done. But it is hard to read, because it is brutal at times. But even the broken souls have stories... and this one is Beck's.

[nitzan_schwarz]

Well, excuse me while I continue sobbing over here.

-/-/-/

Warning: This is not going to be eloquent. I'll try to at least someone stylize it tomorrow but for now a raw stream of consciousness (aka me bubbling for hours)

Honestly, I came into this book FULL OF EXPECTATIONS. I try not to do that because that's a surefire way to get disappointed, but I also couldn't help it?? Cait wrote this book. Cait who makes me laugh and cry in a #relatable kind of way at the drop of a hat. How could I NOT expect greatness out of it?

So I was kind of nervous reading this because good god if I didn't like it I would have been DEVASTATED. But I also knew I would because all of the snippets she let us see on instagram told me I was going to love Beck, August, and the small terror.

And I did. Beck is a burnt marshmallow and I love love love him. He's a cinnamon roll that must be protected at all costs but also he is so bad at letting people protect him that he keeps getting hurt over and over and over again. I wanted to go into the book, adopt his ass and keep him in bubble wrap for the rest of his sweet existence. Granted, I can't do that.

Because who would take care of Joey then? the 5 year old is a constant joy in this novel and I swear to god if anyone lays a hand on her I'm defying all laws of physic and transporting myself into this book just to bite their hands off. So then I figured, I could just adopt BOTH of them! Sure, there is no way Joey would let me bubble wrap her, but I could probably bride her into (relative to Joey) tranquility with crayons and unlimited access to the kitchen and my stocked refrigerator. But I couldn't do that, either, because with the two Keverichs gone who would August entertain endlessly?? Shut up, we do not talk about the ending of this book. There is an epilogue we never got to read where everything is SUNSHINE and RAINBOWS and they are all TOGETHER and there are HUGS and KISSES, Okay?!

August is like stevia cakes. You're really confused by them, you don't quite understand how they exist, and you're immensely shocked they taste good because they are made of Steve and just??? you're eating human cake??? (this joke will make sense once you read the book, I swear. Or maybe it won't. who knows, my brain is 100% gone). Anyways, I really liked this girl. I want to be as confused about the shoes as everyone else but I have a friend that will take off her shoes whenever and wherever and considering in Israel its heat wave after heat wave that also means literally scorched feet but somehow walking barefoot is worth it and idk why but honestly I don't ask too much. Anyways, August is funny and cheerful and in Beck's eyes she is basically sunshine and rainbows and dandelions and everything that is good and pure in this world. I'm not sure that's 100% true because she also knows to spot abuse when she sees it (and knows not to be TOO pushy about it) and she also values violence and practices in it on occasions. But to Beck she is absolutely perfect and it's like looking directly at the sun and GAH THEY MAKE ME EMOTIONAL.

And I know what you're thinking---just adopt all THREE of them, what's the problem? Well, August actually has parents who love her, so I can't just plunk her out of this fictional world and abscond with her, you dummy!

So I'm left with no choice but to leave Beck and Joey with their BITCH of a mother and let August warm their brittle souls a little bit.

And yes, I am using strong language her. That woman--the "Maestro"--is a waste of space. You know how everyone kind of loves to hate Voldermort but NO ONE loved to hate Umbridge because with just detest her with the passion of a thousand sons? Beck's sorry excuse for a mother is Umbridge. She is a miserable, jealous bitch who deserves to be hit back for the things she does to her children. Every time she called Beck "lazy"--the nerve of her!--I wanted to scratch her eyes out. Every time she dares lay a hand of him or threaten sweet Joey, I wanted to stab her in the heart. This CREATURE made me rage so freakin' hard. She is a monster, and I hate hate hate hate hate her. Thank god Jan is pressing charges against this sorry excuse of a human being because god knows Beck is too sweet to do so because he still loves his mother even though she has done nothing to deserve it .

Seriously, I am a ball of FURY and ANGER and TEARS. so many tears. I cried for about the last 50 pages of this straight. My children. Cait, think of the children! And give me my epilogue pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Terri M. LeBlanc]

I enjoyed this book. It was a heartbreaking read. But I love the musical references and descriptions of playing the piano.

[Kelly]

Debut novel A Thousand Perfect Notes, is a breathtaking and confronting narrative of family violence and gentle optimism, harmonised with delicate moments of sincerity and compassion. Come and join in on the conversation as I interview my remarkable friend.

Read our interview here.

[shannonmiz]

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight

Today, since this is a "let's flail" review, we're going to just discuss the reasons I loved this, because when you're flailing, there are probably not any negatives, right? Right. So, here are some of the reasons that if you haven't already obtained this book (and why haven't you?) you really, really should.

1. The characters are precious and adorable and believably quirky. Okay, maybe I should say most of the characters, because I don't want to accidentally lump Beck's mom in with anyone precious. But let's talk about Beck, while we're at it: He is such a broken human, but also really good at his core, even though he doesn't really believe it. The only thing that I loved more than his adorable feels for August was his fierce protectiveness for his sister Joey. August, in her own right, is delightful. And she seems to bring out the best in people, which frankly is refreshing. Oh, and even though they're kind of minor characters, her family is fabulous and maybe we have a spinoff about them or something, eh?



2. Beck's plight was eerily relatable. I mean, okay, perhaps not to the extent, but certainly the context? Beck and I can't have been the only ones who felt a ton of parental pressure to do certain things in certain ways. My dad was so tough on us, and a lot of times I felt like he maybe was trying to live vicariously- exactly as Beck's mom is. Thankfully, I didn't face abuse like Beck, but of course there are kids who do. Still, I related to him so much- when you wonder how much of your life is just living someone else's plans.
   
   And I did worry about not being able to relate to Beck because of music. Music scares me sometimes because I don't understand it? But it's fine- it's written in a way that you don't have to have a masters degree in piano to understand exactly what is happening.



3. The writing, as you'd expect, is fabulous. We know Cait can write, yes? If you didn't before, trust me, you will after you read this. I highlighted so many passages on my Kindle that the whole damn thing was practically turning colors. So many witty lines, so many thoughtful and emotive parts. If you appreciate quality writing, you're in the right place.



4. Let's talk about the feels! Ohhh my emotions! I admit that I foolishly didn't realize that this book would be so emotionally powerful, but it was. I cried, and a book hasn't made me cry in a long time (because I might be turning into some kind of cyborg, idk?), but it wasn't all emotionally heavy. I laughed, and I felt a ton of empathy for Beck, and I was pissed as hell at his damn mom. See, emotions galore!



5. I actually lost track of time while reading and that seriously does not ever happen. Like I looked up at the Kindle and somehow I'd gotten to 85% and two hours had passed and oops? It really drew me in immediately, and I was apparently very invested in finding out what became of these characters, so there you have it.



6. There's cake. Because this is a Cait book, I feel like I'd be disappointed if there wasn't cake? But there is so you don't need to worry.

Bottom Line: It is as awesome as you think it will be. That's all you need to know.

[Linda]

A Thousand Perfect Notes is such a dark tale, where, at the beginning, there seems to be no hope. Then August enters Beck's life and shows him that there is more. And wanting more can be dangerous...
FRC