layawaydragon
Written on May 6, 2018
I was so not prepared for the "shocking violence" that changes the family. It was so hard to listen to and get through unawares and it doesn't go away or get better. It really sinks in with silence, fighting, and misunderstandings between the family.
I was at one point almost done with all of it but then a new twist happened. Every time I got tired of the no movement, of his whining and downward spiral, something I didn't see coming happened.
Kyung is a dick. He is a reserved, emotional stunted and unavailable, uncaring, selfish, with a massive chip on his shoulder and an anger problem. He doesn't bother trying to be better until rock bottom and dear gods is that a long way down. It's painful and embarrassing and frustrating to read. Did I mention he doesn't like music? Who doesn't like music?!?
Why is it with family trauma the man always fucking cheats? I am so sick of this shit. Men are trash.
However, I am glad he starts and ends as an atheist. His issues will religion are understandable and not a terrible caricature like so many atheists in literature. The church involved did grate on my nerves but some people need it like Jin and Maggie. It's a good balance.
I don't even know where to start with Kyung and Maggie. OMFG. No words right now to analyze and break that down but it hits hard and hurts.
Gillian is a great person. I wish her the all the best, she deserves it. Connie's revelation at the end made me ache all the more for her.
Tim and Connie being nice is hilarious, but they're not a bastion of goodness either. I'm sure the years of marriage up to this point was fucked up on all sides. However, in the end, Connie is amazing. Besides Connie, Eleanor is the my favorite side character.
I feel so heart wrenchingly bad for Marina. She's little more than a footnote usually, besides a conversation with Kyung and being talked about and ignored. I will say it's a pity that they mentioned she can't be left alone but didn't really deal with the consequences of being disabled like she was after the attack.
It really is the side characters and cast that carry this whole book.
However, the ending made it worth it. I can't really talk about it. It's difficult in general, but especially given my history of DV and child abuse. It's not a "everything is wrapped and done", but it's a nice conclusion that would be ruined by continuing the story.
It really did give me a sense of hope and brighter outlook. Of course finishing it and going home for the weekend might also play a role in how good I felt at the end of this tumultuous dark journey.
Message: forgive and give a real second chance, or cut them out of your life. I am personally glad I took the latter route and won't be going back. But if you're stuck with your family, it's a good reality check.
Shelter takes on masculinity, abuse, and classism/elitism. It reminds me of Everything I Never Told You, especially in the beginning. I have more fondness for Everything I Never Told You because it was more enjoyable and lighter read, but it takes on different issues differently: race, sexism, and pressure from society and family.