My Eyes Are Up Here

by Laura Zimmermann

A “monomial” is a simple algebraic expression consisting of a single term. 30H, for example. fifteen-year-old Greer Walsh hasn’t been fazed by basic algebra since fifth grade, but for the last year, 30H has felt like an unsolvable equation - one that’s made her world a very small, very lonely place. 30H is her bra size - or it was the last time anyone checked. She stopped letting people get that close to her with a tape measure a while ago.

Ever since everything changed the summer before ninth grade, Greer has felt out of control. She can’t control her first impressions, the whispers that follow, or the stares that linger after. The best she can do is put on her faithful XXL sweatshirt and let her posture - and her expectations for other people - slump.

But people - strangers and friends - seem strangely determined to remind her that life is not supposed to be this way. Despite carefully avoiding physical contact and anything tighter than a puffy coat, Greer finds an unexpected community on the volleyball squad, the team that hugs between every point and wears a uniform “so tight it can squeeze out tears.” And then there’s Jackson Oates, newly arrived at her school and maybe actually more interested in her banter than her breasts.

Laura Zimmermann’s debut is both laugh-out-loud funny and beautifully blunt, vulnerable and witty, heartbreaking and hopeful. And it will invite readers to look carefully at a girl who just wants to be seen for all she is.

• ISBN10: 1984815245
• ISBN13: 9781984815248
• Publish Date: 23 June 2020
• Publish Status: Remaindered
• Out of Print: 25 June 2024
• Publish Country: US
• Publisher: Penguin Putnam Inc
• Imprint: G.P.Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers'
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 352
• Language: English
• URL: https://penguinrandomhouse.com/books/isbn/9781984815248

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

Greer wanted to be noticed for her passion for mathematics, but all everyone seemed to notice were Maude and Mavis, her right and left breasts. The constant scrutiny of her body, from friends, family, and even strangers, made it hard for her to be comfortable in her own skin, but in this story, I got to cheer for Greer as she began breaking her own self-imposed rules regarding her body.

I won't lie. Greer's story was quite heartbreaking at times, and though I never dealt with her exact issue, I did grapple with body issues. I remember my sister battling with her growing chest as a young teen. She employed many of the same tactics as Greer. She wore large, oversized clothing, and hunched her shoulders in an effort to make herself look smaller. How sad, that someone is made to feel like that. I felt Greer's pain throughout this book, and there were so many times I wanted to hug her, or encourage her to talk to someone.

I appreciated that Zimmermann took us through all the difficulties people with large breasts encounter. How their top may be a way different size from their bottom. How finding a good support garment is difficult and extremely expensive, and lack of such garments is a barrier to enjoying certain activities. I have heard about the physical pain large breasted people experience, but how many other people have? Zimmermann took on the topic with a touch of humor, but there were many very real moments shared with us.

That was why it felt so good to see Greer become part of the volleyball team. She had avoided athletics in the past, because of the physical difficulties she experienced as she played. With the help of good sports bra, and an awesome home ec teacher, who was able to modify her uniform top, Greer was able to be part of a team for the first time. She was able to seen for her skill on the court, and she found a lot of support from some of her teammates as well. Jessa, the captain of the team, was especially wonderful, as she embraced her own body for its strength and what it could do, never dwelling on her size. She also spoke honestly about her body, and this was such a big thing for Greer, who always felt ashamed, and wanted to avoid anything that pertained to how she looked.

In a nutshell, this was a humorous and honest story about learning to love yourself. It was about not letting other people determine what your body can or cannot do, and wanting to be seen as a whole person, which is something everyone deserves.

*ARC won via a publisher giveaway

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