She's My Dad: A Father’s Transition and a Son’s Redemption

by Jonathan S. Williams

Paula Stone Williams (Secondary Author)

Jonathan S. Williams was three months into pastoring a new, evangelical church plant when his father confessed a secret: he was transgender. His father, Paul, a prominent evangelical pastor, soon became Paula, and Jonathan's life and ministry went into a tailspin. Feeling betrayed by his mentor and confidante and scared that his church would lose funding and support if Paula's secret was exposed, Jonathan sunk into depression and alcoholism.

She's My Dad explores Jonathan's long and winding journey toward reconciliation, forgiveness, and acceptance of his father as well as his church's journey to become one of the few fully LGBTQ-inclusive, evangelical churches in America. Jonathan and Paula offer insight and encouragement for those with transgender family members, empathizing with the feelings of loss and trauma and understanding that even being LGBTQ-affirming doesn't mean the transition of a family member will be easy. Jonathan writes of his family's continuing evolution, the meaning of remaining loyal to one's father even when she is no longer a man, the ongoing theological evolution surrounding transgender rights and advocacy in the church, and the unflinching self-scrutiny of a pastor who lost his God only to find God again in his father's transition.

• ISBN10: 0664264352
• ISBN13: 9780664264352
• Publish Date: 20 November 2018
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Westminster/John Knox Press,U.S.
• Format: Paperback
• Pages: 216
• Language: English
• URL: https://presbyterian.app.onixsuite.com/book/?GCOI=29636107511100

Reviews

[lovelybookshelf]

Because it's a memoir, I feel bad that I didn't really enjoy this book. I'm just not sure who this is book for? Jonathan's reaction is so deeply entrenched in evangelical Christianity, I wonder how many readers (whether cis or trans) outside of that world would find this helpful. I struggled with how outdated the terminology and attitudes felt. I wouldn't want to read this as a trans person, and certainly not as a nonbinary person (the narrative was very hung up on a gender binary). And I can't imagine giving it to a cis person who is trying to understand how a trans loved one feels, because again, it felt outdated, and it wasn't cohesive or far-reaching enough.

There was constant misgendering in the first half of the book. Maybe Paula was okay with the use of old pronouns/name for historical purposes, but it was tough to read. Did they think it made things clearer? Was it for dramatic effect? It just felt bad. And while Jonathan is good about pointing out where he was being selfish, self-righteous, or just plain mean, I couldn't help but wonder: Are there times when cis people should keep some of their thoughts to themselves? Is there such thing as TOO "raw and honest"?