More Happy Than Not

by SILVERA

When it first gets announced, the Leteo Institute's memory-alteration procedure seems too good to be true to Aaron Soto-miracle cure-alls don't tend to pop up in the Bronx projects. Aaron can't forget how he's grown up poor, how his friends all seem to shrug him off, and how his father committed suicide in their one bedroom apartment. He has the support of his patient girlfriend, if not necessarily his distant brother and overworked mother, but it's not enough. Then Thomas shows up. He doesn't mind Aaron's obsession over the Scorpius Hawthorne books and has a sweet movie set-up on his roof. There are nicknames. Aaron's not only able to be himself, but happiness feels easy with Thomas. The love Aaron discovers may cost him what's left of his life, but since Aaron can't suddenly stop being gay Leteo may be the only way out.

• ISBN10: 1616955619
• ISBN13: 9781616955618
• Publish Date: 1 January 2015
• Publish Status: Active
• Out of Print: 17 June 2015
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Soho Press
• Format: eBook
• Language: English

Reviews

[empressbrooke]

It is a really good thing I read Adam Silvera's later books before his debut, because this book would have been enough to move him into my "never again" pile. I really loved his later books! I had fully expected to enjoy this one as well, but it was a meandering mess of mediocrity and pointlessness for the first half. I kept flipping to the synopsis that had promised sci-fi elements and wondering if I'd been lied to, because all I was getting was endless details about the playground games the characters were playing. Who needs a plot when you can fill up pages with details about hiding places and tag and skipping bottle caps into elaborately numbered game boards?

When the sci fi elements finally kicked in, they were so poorly thought through that it was ridiculous. Nothing about the rules that were created for this book follow any internal logic or consistency, and nothing tanks speculative fiction faster than that.

I wasn't really thrilled with the idea that forgetting you're gay would mean that you're straight, because it smacked of the idea that being straight is the "default" - and I know that the author is gay, and that he probably doesn't believe that, but that idea permeated the story's entire premise. The first half of the book presents the MC's feelings for and attraction to his girlfriend as 100% authentic and real, and we're supposed to buy he genuinely felt that just because he "forgot" he was gay? It would have made way more sense if the MC was bisexual and wanted to forget half of himself, and the insistence on sticking with the binary option just resulted in a confusing message.

And I was really uncomfortable with a character nicknamed "Me-Crazy" who ran around doing erratic things like rolling his eyes back until only the whites showed while screaming and punching his own head. Especially when there's a character who died by suicide and the main character attempted suicide - the book is tagged as "Mental Health" on GoodReads but my biggest takeaway was that the author saturated his book with a really insensitive and outdated idea of mental illness. There's even a random scene with a woman who gets put in a straight jacket because she's over-the-top experiencing psychotic symptoms as a result of not making progress in grief therapy after losing a loved one.

So much of this reminded me of my distaste for [b:Everything, Everything|18692431|Everything, Everything|Nicola Yoon|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1450515891l/18692431._SY75_.jpg|26540216] by [a:Nicola Yoon|7353006|Nicola Yoon|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1411143980p2/7353006.jpg] - poorly constructed and weirdly insensitive.

[dragononabook]

So this was just about as angsty as I expected from an Adam Silvera book. The twist hit me like a truck, and to be honest I'm not sure I'm over it yet. I am really glad that we don't have anything like the Leteo Institute (yet?).

However I had one major problem, that knocked the rating down by a star: the casual transphobia regarding a minor character. There was absolutely no reason for it, and while cis people may not even have picked up the handful of lines, seeing something like this completely unaddressed can be really hurtful; a reminder that no matter what, people, even lgb+ people, will not take us seriously.

[lisacee]

I was disappointed with this story. It's full of a bunch of unhappy people either lying to themselves or actively trying to forget who they are.

[writehollydavis]

4.5/5 stars. An unexpected twist elevated this already compelling story! Excited to check out Adam Silvera's other books!

[bestmessever]

YOU GUYS.....I GET IT NOW. Adam Silvera is fantastic and this book was sooo damn good. I will now proceed to buy all of his books.

[Jo]

Trigger Warning: Suicide.

I have wanted to read More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera for ages, but for some reason the cover, and the fact that it has been likened to the movie Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, which I didn't like, put me off a little. I knew I would read it eventually because of the rave reviews, but it was always "later". I finally picked it up as it was part of Dahlia Adler's November Book Club, and oh my god, I wish I had read it so much sooner! This book is incredible!

A few months ago, Aaron's father committed suicide. It was completely out of the blue, and he has no idea why. Dealing with his grief and sadness has been tough. The only person he can really talk to is his girlfriend Genevieve; his friends don't really do real talk, his mum is almost always working to keep a roof over their head, and he's not that close to his brother Eric. The grief got too much for him, and now he's left with a smiling mouth scar on his wrist from a failed suicide attempt. He's now trying to piece his life back together. He's made a new friend in Thomas, a guy who lives not too far away, and he starts spending most of his time with him. Thomas allows Aaron to be himself, to talk about the sadness he still feels without judgement, and soon Aaron develops feelings for Thomas. But being gay is causing him more problems and more unhappiness. Maybe his only chance is to get the Leteo procedure, which will alter his memories and make him forget his feelings for Thomas. But can altering memories stop you from being who you are?

Oh my god, this is so, so brilliant, I can't even tell you! It's so clever, complex, deep and sad, but completely wonderful! I was completely engrossed in Aaron's story, which is such an interesting one, and had this huge twist I wasn't expecting at all. More Happy Than Not is set in the not too distant future, and feels very much like a contemporary novel; the Leteo Institute, where people are having memory-altering procedures to forget difficult times is the only sci-fi aspect of the story, and for a good long while, it's something that's going on in the background. Aaron knows someone who had the procedure and then moved, and he sees adverts for it and protests at his local institute, but it's not something that affects him. He's just a teenage boy living in the Bronx, trying to get over his father's suicide, experiencing firsts with his girlfriend, and making a new friend. It's not until much later, when Aaron realises he has feelings for Thomas, and Aaron starts to feel those feelings are problematic that the Leteo Institute comes into play.

'I know not being me will be a lie, but I know I'm doing myself a favor in the long run if I can somehow book a Leteo procedure. Because as I stand now, I have so much bullshit to look out for.
Happiness shouldn't be this hard.' (p157)

What adds to the contemporary feel are all the pop culture references we're all going to recognise. Aaron is a bit of a geek, and one of his favourite places is his local comic book store, so there are a lot of Marvel and DC references. I was a tiny bit annoyed by the fake Harry Potter - Scorpius Hawthorne, a demonic boy wizard. All the references are so close to the real books (book three is called Scorpius Hawthorne and the Convict of Abbadon, and Emma Watson plays Scorpius' friend Lexa in the movies), it just seemed a little weird to not use the real books, but I guess there must have been some issue there.

I also loved how gritty and real this book is. It's set in the Bronx in New York. I don't know much about the Bronx, but I have this idea that it's a rough kind of place, and Silvera makes it feel that way; Aaron lives in a one bedroom apartment, with he and his brother sharing the front room as a bedroom. It's the summer and all three of them work - his mother has two jobs - and yet there is still very little money around. Aaron is living is such poverty, but it's so normal for him, that's it's not even really a major part of the book, but it's there in everything. His sort of best friend Brendan is a drug dealer, another friend in his group who is known as Me-Crazy (and actually talks in the third person about himself, calling himself Me-Crazy) can fly of the handle at any second and will beat the crap out of anyone, and his group is known to get into fights with the teenagers from the nearby group of apartments. They also have this street way of talking, that thankfully isn't too full of slang, because I don't understand it. It's also a diverse community; there are very few people in the cast of characters who are white. There's one character I assume is white because she has red hair and green eyes, and there are a few characters who's skin colour is mentioned, but for the most part the race of most characters isn't brought up at all, but there is the feel of a very diverse community. And with Aaron, we have an intersectional protagonist as a gay person of colour.

One of the things I loved about this book is how, even though Aaron is so severely unhappy for most of the book, it's not a book that drags the reader down. I find most books about such sadness are emotionally draining and exhausting, and leave you feeling empty, all the while being a book I'm wowed by. With More Happy Than Not, I was wowed without being pulled into Aaron's sadness, which is surprising, since suicide comes up a fair bit, either when Aaron is talking about his dad's suicide, his own suicide attempt, or suicidal thoughts that come up over the course of the story. I was still emotionally involved; I cared about Aaron, about what would happen to him, about where his life would go, and I was sad for him, but not the exhaustive sadness that leaves me feeling completely wiped out.

'Sometimes pain is so unimaginable that the idea of spending another day with it seems impossible. Other times pain acts as a compass to help you get through the messier tunnels of growing up. But pain can only help you find happiness if you can remember it.' (p270)

I can't really go into much more detail about the plot without spoiling things, but believe me there is a lot going on! Silvera has woven this incredible story that completely blew me away, and has such a turn of phrase; at times poetic, and at others so poignant.

'From the shapes cast by the green paper lantern, you would never know that there were two boys sitting closely to one another trying to find themselves. You would only see shadows hugging, indiscriminate.' (p136)

I must say that Silvera writes about pain and sadness in such an exquisite way, but in a way that, having read Silvera's post, Happiness Isn't Just an Outside Thing (trigger warning: he discusses suicidal thoughts), made me feel so sad for him and what he must have drawn on for the story. You can't read that post then read this book and not go, "Woah." It just makes this story mean a whole lot more - not plot-wise, but sadness-wise - and I feel like we've been given something very special. I know this is a review, but I'd like to add that I sincerely hope that Silvera gets through his dark times. We're better off for his talent.

An unbelievably beautiful novel, and I'm so excited to read whatever Silvera writes next. He's most definitely one to look out for.

[Angie]

More Happy Than Not was super dark and sad and heartbreaking but ultimately hopeful. It's set in the near future where the Leteo procedure promises to help people live happier lives. It suppresses memories that interfere with normal, every day life and lets the patients get back to functioning. Aaron thought the procedure was bull until one of the kids in his neighborhood gets it done after the murder of his bother. Then things happen over the Summer which make Aaron feel like he needs the procedure done in order to be happy.

I did have a bit of trouble getting into More Happy Than Not. The first part was good, and I liked seeing Aaron interact with his friends, family, girlfriend, and new friend Thomas. But I wasn't really invested. I was enjoying it, but couldn't see this going anywhere. Then during part two things started really picking up, and I was interested in how Aaron was going to deal with this new information that he had about himself. I really wanted him to find happiness with Thomas, but then it became clear that Aaron and I were reading this situation completely wrong.

The middle portion of More Happy Than Not nearly broke my freaking heart! I never saw all of that coming! It covers from when Aaron was a kid, all the way up to a few months before the start of the book. I could not put it down during this part! Everything started making much more sense, and I could pick out a few things from the first part that suddenly made it much more interesting. It is seriously heartbreaking. Like, I cannot believe people would treat Aaron this way, and I can't believe that his mom let him do what he did to deal with it all! After that, I was well and truly invested in Aaron's journey to happiness.

What I loved best about More Happy Than Not was that the Leteo procedure wasn't this 100% guaranteed fix for mental health problems. The memories aren't erased, they're just hidden away so that triggers can "unwind" them. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't. And once it does happen there's other adverse effects which are just awful. It's a high price to pay, even if it seems worth it at first. I can totally see how the Leteo procedure could become popular though, but like Aaron's bother said, it's like using a cheat code before even asking for help.

I really enjoyed More Happy Than Not. I know I probably made it sound super depressing, which it is in places, but I feel like the ending was hopeful. It certainly doesn't end with sunshine and rainbows and everyone hugging it out and living happily ever after. But I strongly feel like Aaron is on the right track now and he'll find that true happiness eventually, even if it'll be difficult.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[Stephanie]

Not for the faint of heart. Deals with a lot of sad, depressing stuff. But worth the read.

[shannonmiz]

This review was originally posted on It Starts at Midnight
This book was awesome, because it covered so many relevant topics. The cool thing is, it isn't just diversity, it is Aaron's life. His whole world is so different from mine, but it didn't even matter, because I'll be damned if I didn't connect to him regardless! There were some pretty epic twists that I didn't see coming, and so many multifaceted characters. I felt like I was actually in the Bronx- and I have never been there! These was a fabulously well done debut, deserves every ounce of hype, and I suspect Adam has a lot of amazing stories left to write- and I am certain I'll be reading each one.