This Is How I Lied

by Heather Gudenkauf

Everyone has a secret they’ll do anything to hide…

Twenty-five years ago, the body of sixteen-year-old Eve Knox was found in the caves near her home in small-town Grotto, Iowa—discovered by her best friend, Maggie, and her sister, Nola. There were a handful of suspects, including her boyfriend, Nick, but without sufficient evidence the case ultimately went cold.

For decades Maggie was haunted by Eve’s death and that horrible night. Now a detective in Grotto, and seven months pregnant, she is thrust back into the past when a new piece of evidence surfaces and the case is reopened. As Maggie investigates and reexamines the clues, secrets about what really happened begin to emerge. But someone in town knows more than they’re letting on, and they’ll stop at nothing to keep the truth buried deep.

• ISBN10: 0778309703
• ISBN13: 9780778309703
• Publish Date: 12 May 2020
• Publish Status: Active
• Imprint: Park Row
• Edition: Original ed.
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 336
• Language: English

Reviews

[Nadz@Totally Addicted to Reading]

Heather Gudenkauf is a new to me author, and I had no clue what to expect in terms of her writing style and ability to pen a good mystery. The blurb provided hints of a page turning story therefore I couldn’t wait to dive into This is how I Lied.

The story introduces Maggie Kennedy O’Keefe a detective with the Grotto Police Department. Eight months pregnant she is preparing to take on desk duty when additional evidence relating to twenty-five-year-old murder case surfaces. This was personal for Maggie as it involved the murder of her best friend Eve Knox. Because of the additional evidence coming to light, the police chief reopened the case. He assigned the case to Maggie allowing her the chance to ascertain what this fresh evidence would reveal. However, someone is not keen on the reopening of the case and will stop at nothing to prevent the truth from being revealed.

Filled with intrigue and suspense This is how I Lied proved to be a page turner which kept me up late into the night. The story is told from the POVs of Maggie, Eve and Nola, Eve’s sister giving readers an inside look into their state of mind up to time of the murder and after. The story moved between the past, and the present, and the events in both timelines were rather disturbing. Reading of Eve’s last days was heart-breaking. The poor girl couldn’t get a break.

As secrets unravelled, the story left me in doubt has to who killed Eve. The suspect pool wasn’t huge however, each of the persons highlighted had motive and opportunity. However, figuring who was responsible was not a simple task. At the point when I believed I had my answer, the author dropped a twist which left me questioning my initial belief.

The author weaved a tale that kept engaged from start to finish. This is How I Lied is a story that will not be forgetting soon. The story was so interesting I devoured it in less than two days.

Recommendation/Conclusion
Fans of small-town mysteries will enjoy this latest offering from Heather Gudenkauf. I will definitely be reading more of this author’s work.
This review was originally posted on Totally Addicted to Reading

[kalventure]

This review will be posted on Reader Voracious on May 18th as part of Harlequin's blog tour!

"Dark places made it so much easier to be cruel, to exact revenge."

This is How I Lied is a heavy, powerful, and twisty read. Reading this book was uncomfortable at times, resulting in an unnerving reading experience where I didn't know who to trust.

Maggie's best friend was murdered 25 years ago and she's now been assigned to work on her cold case. Told in the present-day perspectives of Maggie and Nola (Eve's sister) along with Eve's perspective of her final day, Gudenkauf crafts a gripping mystery where the focus is whodunit and why.

I mentioned the book made me uncomfortable, and that's because the characters are all pretty horrible. I'll say it: being inside of Nola's head was unnerving! That's kind of the point, but I didn't really connect with Maggie for some reason, which at times made it difficult for me to care. I found myself most invested in Eve's storyline leading up to the time of her murder. I enjoyed how Gudenkauf parsed out that information alongside the present-day investigation.

Each character and narrator holds a piece of the puzzle, and I like how the gaps to their knowledge played into their perspectives. There are also some mixed-media elements and doctor's notes included, but for me I wasn't sure how useful they are and in some places they repeat info rather than reveal clues. There is one thing about the mystery that just... doesn't make sense based on the narrative, which did take me out of the story a bit unfortunately, but barring that tiny aspect, I enjoyed the twists and turns.

Gudenkauf's writing is highly descriptive and I could envision myself in the story alongside the narrators. With fast pacing and a quick-wit, you will come up with a lot of theories about what truly happened... and with a cast of characters as bleak as this, there's no shortage of suspects.

"Over the years, I lost my mom, my innocence and my best friend. This street has been a graveyard to me."

The prologue captivated me immediate with the final moments of Eve's life. I want to mention that this book handles a lot of difficult and potentially triggering subject matter, so please be sure to read my content warnings to ensure you are in the right headspace before picking it up. Poor Eve had a difficult life that only lasted 15 years, and from her abusive boyfriend to the creepy neighbor there are a lot of suspects in who killed her. I appreciate how this relationship is depicted and think it is important to depict abusive relationships where the character is trying to stand up and escape, but also how manipulating an abuser can be and how easy it is for them to regain control.

Overall, I found This is How I Lied to be a gripping read. I enjoyed feeling intensely uncomfortable and trying to figure out what happened. There is one twist that just doesn't logically make sense to me, but I want to leave no spoilers so those interested can discover everything for themselves.

Content warnings: abusive relationship (physical and emotional, absent parenting, animal death & alluded torture, bullying, death of a parent, gaslighting, infertility and loss of pregnancies, murder, sexism, sexual assault, statutory rape, suicidal thoughts, victim blaming

eARC provided by the publisher as part of the blog tour in exchange for my honest review. Quotations are taken from an uncorrected proof and subject to change upon final publication.

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[Jeff Sexton]

Dark and Twisted. This book is actually one of the better ones I've encountered of late for using a particular scene as a prologue... and then coming back to that very scene late in the book (within the last 30 pages or so, actually) and showing how it *actually* went down. Yes, that means that this book has surprises almost until literally the last page. Several interesting storytelling techniques at play here, and touching on several issues within the zeitgeist of the last few years. Very much recommended.

[Terri M. LeBlanc]

Another solid entry for Gudenkauf!

From the opening pages, I was sucked in the story and wanted to know exactly what happened that fateful December day in the cave.

Gudenkauf does an excellent job recreating the timeline leading up to Eve's murder with the tension between Maggie and Nola, and Nola that the rest of the community.

I look forward to recommending this book to current fans of Gudenkauf and to readers looking for suspense thrillers.

I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.