Amanda
Written on Oct 30, 2014
And not that she deserved to be disliked, but she didn't really endear me to her or, more importantly, her plight. For me, there wasn't enough setup with the fiance to think he was terrible enough to get ruined. Not that I wanted the marriage to go through, but never did I feel like screaming, "GET AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!" either. Which I wanted to be able to do. Because usually the follow-up response is "RUN INTO THE HERO'S ARMS!"
I found myself more interested in the side characters' lives and stories (even though we didn't get much about them) than the main characters, because the main characters were hard to understand. Things just seemed to... happen. And I didn't always track why. The characters would tell me things or have revelations, but I didn't necessarily see it in their actions.
There's also the "he moved in time with his thrusts" line that I'm still puzzling out. Mostly because if a man is thrusting himself into a woman (because yes, this was a sex scene), how could he NOT move in time with his thrusts? Isn't that the very nature of thrusting? "He held himself still while thrusting" or "He moved opposite of his thrusts" don't make sense. HE THRUSTS! That's about all you need to convey the action.