layawaydragon
Written on Feb 10, 2020
-It felt very male gaze-y.
-Monica is like every male protag. You could change her to "Monico" & couldn't tell besides the relationship turning straight.
-Needs better balancing & pacing. Like making the McKnights an actual threat instead of bumbling or have more people acting out on their behalf. We hear how supposedly rich & powerful they are-prove it. Linger & shatter Monica's POV w/ the verdict, make me feel it. Or something.
-What about the other charges against the McKnights?
-Can't ya'll just say RACIST?!? Don't shy from the fight, giving them any ground to stand on.
-MAYbe if badass DA said Racist! the jury would've wanted to distance themselves from Trevor McKnight and actually punish him.
-But ending on talking about "Saudi justice"? REALLY?!? *sighhh*
-It's not a mystery what happened. It's not fast or amped up like a suspense or thriller. The legal stuff was straight-forward. So what was the point?
-I will check out Alexi Venice's other work to see if anything strikes me. Or if there's a sequel. I just hope they're not as passive and listless as Conscious Bias.