Come as You Are

by Emily Nagoski

***A NEW YORK TIMES BESTELLER***

An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works--based on groundbreaking research and brain science--that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer--but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.

The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others' experiences. Because women vary, and that's normal.

Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman's arousal, desire, and orgasm.

Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman's sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.

And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

• ISBN10: 1476762112
• ISBN13: 9781476762111
• Publish Date: 3 March 2015
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Simon & Schuster
• Format: eBook
• Language: English

Reviews

[jamiereadthis]

I’m very, very glad this book has helped a lot of people. I’m very, very glad it wasn’t useful to me.

It means I haven’t internalized all that much of the crap we’re told about our bodies; it means my own hard work to comprehend and correct the sexual hangups I inherited has had a measure of success. So I really wanted to like this, I did. I’m on board with what this book wants to do. It’s the execution that’s lacking. I was struggling along, willing to adapt to the tone, trying to get past the weirdo condescension, but then the Plato bit ticked me off, and there were hedgehogs and gardens, and it felt not unlike the vibe of an old Brio magazine (the Christian version of Cosmo for girls age 14), and the dialogue was absurd, and it went downhill from there.

Also, to cheerlead the “we’re all normal!” parade, it has a narrow definition of what normal is.

So for the ones who need it: ignore this review, I’m glad this book is there for you. For the ones who find it lacking: you’re not alone. Me too.