layawaydragon
Written on Mar 13, 2016
Won a paperback ARC copy from Popcorn Reads years ago. (Holy shit, was it really almost 4 years ago now?!?!)
It wasn’t that bad. Easy to keep reading it but wasn't good or satisfying. There was plenty of drama to keep going and hoping it’d get better. It didn’t get worse. Except the ending. Ugh.
I guessed the big secret early on and it just became more obvious. It was by page 17 and that’s how far the preview goes if you want to check it out. This really made the book drag ass for me. It didn’t help reading all three perspectives so that I knew more than every other character.
Except Bad Dude, who played fast and loose with his full plan. It wasn’t clear if he was a Nazi or if he had proof the Holocaust “really” didn’t happen or was different until much later in the book. It really showed how fucked up one’s “logic” becomes when it comes to ideology.
I wasn’t very impatient at first but Kalie wasn’t cluing in. She missed things or refused to deal with them. Of course the secret was going to be exposed. Of course, Bad Dude is going to make a move. Of course Kali is going to say no.
But it took almost the whole book to get there. Then everything ramps up, coming to a head but it felt very convenient and abrupt how things turned out: leaving her grandma alone, herself being alone, and especially the dog.
While the family and relationship drama kept it going (at least something was happening), it escalated to the point of ridiculousness. But throughout, everyone just strikes a tad odd.
Seth was so dependent and his parents…overbearing and fake. It was off-putting enough I was wondering if he found out the truth or some shit and had a bigger, shittier plan for her. Instead, he’s just a closet case using her to keep “unclean” thoughts at bay.
First, his parents butt in and pressure Kali to cave to Seth after they had their fight over Lillian. Then they spring up as part of why Seth’s scared of being openly gay. But Kali says Seth’s parents are open minded. But then Seth’s parents are in denial and trying to get Kali and Seth to stay together.
It seems like they knew and wanted her to keep him locked down. So, why did Kali say that? Automatic defense or just as long as it’s not their son? It seems like they switch up quick enough to “oh, we can’t change it, but we’ll still love you as a daughter.” But that doesn’t last either.
And why is everyone’s response “You’re evil.” Her grandmother was raped! (Raped by deception) Say that! I thought Jews don’t believe in the sins of the father? I understand being fucking shocked, and wary if you just met the person, but they knew her for years. Called her family or wanted to start a family with her. She converted then found out she’s born Jewish, FFS.
Maybe it’s because I’m not Jewish. IDK, but they just don’t make sense. Calling her a creature after just calling her your daughter and advocating her and your grandchild’s death? I just…don’t get it. I’m not saying they have to stick with her but the sudden switch and decision just…ugh.
Neil’s reaction makes more sense, bringing up his grandma and speaking with her later. Seth never pops back up at all. Guess that’s his decision made.
The Ending:
Nothing is resolved. We don’t know how Kali dealt with the dead man on her floor. We don’t know if she’s truly alone now or not. We don’t know anything and I can’t find a coherent trail to follow if the author was aiming for thought-provoking ambiguity.
Big Issues:
--Why the hell is Hitler in a disguise and fucking with Lillian like that for…however long? It’s not really clear. It seems like years and that he gave her all the film jobs but I don’t know for sure. FFS, his henchman’s job was to set-up his hook ups. This seems like far too much trouble and time and…silly.
--If her pregnancy wasn’t known or expected, WTF is the point of tracking her down? Plain revenge? Just following his orders? How does killing the old woman and the old painting revitalize and change the Neo-Nazi movement? How does that keep them from being called monsters? “Oh, Hitler loved and could paint, so he was human. Oh how we’ve wrong the Germans so!” Riiiiight. Everyone knows he painted and shit soo….? Fucking madman.
--What is with them seemingly born into drawing the same type of fairies with Nazi arms? And fetus cherubs? That’s just weird and screams paranormal to me. If Kali saw her mother’s fairies then why not just make it a conscious inspiration? But then, it couldn’t end with Kali’s daughter drawing the same things. Is it trying to say Hitler was demented, damaged from birth and it’s genetic, this obsession with the Nazi symbol?
Of course, the Nazi symbol was a symbol of peace before Hitler. Is that supposed to contribute to this narrative or not? Kali did say to Neil “Symbols mean what we want them too”, does that matter? Is their family line just a ticking time bomb? WTF?
Other Parts That Were Off or Stuck Out:
--When Kali first comes to stay and her husband is there, he insists on opening the windows for her upstairs. But then they fight and he leaves. Kalie goes up stairs and is surprised he didn’t open the windows. Why? He never left the front room that burned. Of course he didn’t do it, it’d be physically impossible for him without even going up the stairs. pg.31
--Kali feels uncomfortable one moment when her grandmother’s comment calling her grandfather Harry. This remark is made once and tossed aside. Yet Lillian continues to call him Harry as if it’s SOP. Shouldn’t Kali be used to it? Kali doesn’t realize this, but talks herself out of her bother by stating she calls her grandma Lillian so it’s okay. Then WTF is the point of saying it at all and why did it cross her mind in the first place? And clearly she calls Lillian by her name because she has issues with her. Pg. 48
-Pg. 161 She meets Javier Guzman, thinks all is well and keeps his card. Yet her last thought is “How did he know she was Ms. Campbell’s granddaughter?” Sigh. You’re fine with this breach of confidentiality (HIPPA Laws mean business, FFS) and don’t give it a second thought but you wonder how he knew you? If he got the information from the hospital, they could have easily told them about you as well. Now readers know that isn’t true but it does show how little Kali thinks things through and her wonky thought process. This momentary thought though means nothing and is abandoned, never to be picked up again.
-Javier’s lightbulb moment of realizing he was wrong about the Nazi’s and must right this terrible injustice makes zero sense. How was that an epiphany? Sounds like he never stopped believing his father, about the Jews and the Germans being “better” or “wronged” and he simply snapped.