ladygrey
Written on Sep 10, 2013
I liked that the premise was different, even if so many pieces of the story were pretty obvious. Though, there were actually a couple of unexpected things near the end like how the Glaukos were made and the Achelon.
But mostly the whole thing just felt half formed. Some of the scenes were short and felt truncated or abrupt. And some of the conversations were stilted, where there wasn't a good emotional through line. Responses didn't connect to what had been said before or jumped completely off the side of the conversation. A couple of times Delia acknowledged that she couldn't follow the conversation, but those were the ones that actually made sense to me.
And the relationships weren't developed well enough for me. It was like the whole story was just skimming over the surface of their emotions and these relationships without actually developing anything that gave them substance. Everything just seems to happen so fast (because of the short scenes). And then Guibord is trying to provide time for Jax and Delia to build a relationship but it's done with a scenic description that is really removed so it's not effective.
I just felt like this was a moderately interesting story, not badly written but half formed because so much of it was skimmed over instead of developed.