Drucilla loves living by the river in Londinium. That is, until the fateful day when Pontius Maximus, a leader of the Roman Army, returns a pot to Drucilla's mother's shop. On his way out, he slips on a toy chariot (belonging to Drucilla's pesky younger brother) and embarrasses himself in front of everyone. From then on, Drucilla and her family are public enemy number one. So it's a bit tricky, then, when Pontius decides he's fallen in love with Drucilla's mother, not realizing who she is. How can this disastrous union be stopped? Matters aren't helped by the intervention of meddlesome Aunt Lydia from Rome; Sybil, the unreliable soothsayer; Horace the Offal (the smelliest man in Londinium); and a curse that Drucilla and her brother rescue from the river.