History of Warts
4 primary works
Book 1
At the Dankmarsh School for poor orphans, the children sleep four to a bed and exist on watery porridge. Teachers don't last long, and so when a new one arrives they are intrigued, especially since he has an eyepatch, a huge moustache and calls himself the Captain. Miss Scrubshaw interviews him for the post, though he and his cousin 'Mr Mate' seem most interested in the ancient map on her wall. The Captain introduces new lessons: compass use, swordcraft and biscuit identification. On a school trip to visit the Black Barnacle, a ship owned by an 'old pal', the Captain gives Miss Scrubshaw the slip and it dawns on the children that the ship has cast off, and they are the new crew! Bound, they discover, for Doom Island and a perilous quest for hidden treasure, at the mercy of the Captain and his dastardly plan.
Book 2
Based on the dubious members of the Wart family tree, each book will focus on the adventurous life and turbulent times of a different 'Wart' from pirate to gladiator as he (or she) experiences the peculiar misfortunes which befall all Warts throughout the centuries. Book 1 is set in Roman times. Emperor Porcus Maximus is coming for dinner and so Ditherus and his faithful slave Punio are sent (by Ditherus's mother) to market for supplies. But Ditherus is tempted into buying a sword from a mysterious peddler. Searched by centurion Marcus Furius when he gets home, Ditherus is thrown into prison when the sword is discovered and sentenced to death as a traitorous thief (with Punio). At the last minute Gutsus the gladiator arrives, looking to buy new recruits. Ditherus and Punio are taken to Gladiator School where the motto is 'Death or Glory - but most likely Death'. If ever Ditherus needed a cunning plan, it's now .
Book 3
Life for Honesty and his sisters Mercy and Patience is not a bundle of laughs. His family are strict Puritans and singing, dancing and anything that sounds like fun is forbidden. Life, Honesty thinks, can't get much worse when Christmas is cancelled by order of the government. But he is wrong - the real problem is Gran who has one tooth, a hooked nose, a very hairy chin and a pet toad called Merlin. Honesty suspects she may be a witch, especially since she's been helping the neighbours with love potions and cures for sick pigs. When the WitchFinder General - Ezekial Bones visits the village, Honesty is convinced his family's terrible secret will be discovered. Can he save Gran from the terrible Three Tests for Witches (eg pond ducking - if she swims she's a witch, if she drowns she's innocent.) For a boy who has never told a lie in his whole life - it's asking a lot.
Book 4
When King Eggnog rashly offers the hand of his daughter Princess Miranda in marriage, Sir Bigwart sets out on a daring quest with his faithful squire Toby in tow. The quest is to bring back a tooth of the Ogre of Ghastly Fell, a fearsome, flesh-eating giant whose breath is so bad it can knock you at a hundred paces and whose two heads are constantly squabbling with each other. Sir Bigwart's real talent is for empty boasting so he's going to need a lot of help from his resourceful squire on the way - which is a little awkward since Toby is secretly in love with Princess Miranda himself. To make matters more complicated, Miranda is bored of embroidering her dad's coat of arms on cushions - she's coming along for the ride and anyone who tries giving her orders had better watch out.