Lottie Biggs

3 total works

Lottie Biggs is (Not) Desperate

by Hayley Long

Published 7 May 2010

Lottie Biggs is recovering from her mental disorder of a reasonably significant nature with the help of her counsellor, who rather helpfully looks like Johnny Depp. Things are looking up - her hair is an excellent shade of black, she has a saturday job in a hairdresser and Gareth Stingecombe and his manly thighs are still the love of her life. When Gareth undoes his trousers to show Lottie a fetching bruise on one of the aforementioned thighs, she comes to the realization that, unlike everyone else she knows, she is a total, utter virgin. But how can she get any sort of experience when her boyfriend is doggedly, stubbornly and infuriatingly determined to preserve his energies for the rugby field?

Lottie Biggs is (Not) Mad

by Hayley Long

Published 3 July 2009

My name is Lottie Biggs and in three weeks time, I will be fifteen years old. At school, most people call me Lottie Not-Very-Biggs. I’ve never found this particularly funny . . . My current hair colour is Melody Deep Plum which is not as nice as Melody Forest Flame but definitely better than the dodgy custard colour I tried last week . . .

And this is my book – it’s about important things like boys and shoes and polo-neck knickers and rescuing giraffes and NOT fancying Gareth Stingecombe (even though he has manly thighs) and hanging-out with your best friend having A BLATANTLY FUNNY TIME. It is definitely not about sitting in wardrobes or having a mental disturbance of any kind!

Painfully honest and laugh-so-hard-you-forget-to-breathe funny.

The wit of Louise Rennison with the depth of Jacqueline Wilson.

Lottie Biggs is (Not) Tragic

by Hayley Long

Published 5 August 2011

Just when things were starting to look up for Lottie her life's gone a bit pear-shaped, wonk-ways and downside up again. Her mum's all soppy over a bloke with a horrible shemo* daughter, her best pal Goose has disappeared in a cloud of nerd-gas and Lottie's in the midst of an existential crisis. There's only one thing to do - get the hell out of Cardiff and go on the road with the gorgeous Gareth Stingecombe (and his manly thighs). But things don’t go to plan, and Lottie starts to realise she might have been a bit me me me lately. . .

*a female emo, obviously

The wit of Louise Rennison with the depth of Jacqueline Wilson.