Lemmy Caution
10 total works
Cara, Gayda, Pearl: sizzling dames. Travis, Clemensky, Clansing: desperate men. A set of secret papers. Bring in FBI man Lemmy Caution to recover the papers, and we have all the ingredients for a fast-moving story of espionage, deception and double dealing.
Lemmy Caution once again steers his way round the bodies of dead men and beautiful, very much alive, women to a successful conclusion.
In his tenth and final adventure, set just after the end of the Second World War, Lemmy Caution is in Paris investigating the theft of secret State Department documents. In the opinion of his chief, however, Lemmy has fallen down on the assignment given to him - to trail two suspected enemy agents, one a Frenchwoman and one an American - and he is ordered to bring them in.
The trail leads from Paris to England, and a thrilling conclusion in the Surrey countryside.
'Some wise guy - Confucius or somebody - said there was nothin' like the truth, which is a thing that I believe in - sometimes. Anyhow, I am goin' to try this nothin' but the truth stuff on this dame I spoke to. What can I lose, anyway?'
When Julia Wayles is kidnapped in the US and taken to England, FBI agent Lemmy Caution finds himself caught up in a tangled web of intrigue and international espionage. Julia is being held by two American mobsters, who may or may not be who they say they are. And as usual it's the dames in the story who distract Lemmy from business.
The fourth title in the Lemmy Caution series
In the morgue office there ain't anybody there at all. We go through the office into the corpse room. I switch on the light an' there we start pullin' out the trays with the stiffs on.
We found the morgue attendant all right. He was in number five try lookin' sorta surprised. Which he was entitled to be ... Somebody had shot this guy three times.
In the second Lemmy Caution novel, the FBI man is sent by his bosses to Casablanca to investigate the disappearance of two million dollars, which have seemingly vanished into thin air. There he meets Carlotta de la Rue, the eponymous Poison Ivy, whose character is based on a true-life femme fatale nightclub singer.
Lemmy soon uncovers a gang of gold smugglers, whose boss might be Rudy Saltierra, Carlotta's boyfriend. She, in turn, may or may not be on Lemmy's side ...
This is vintage Cheyney, with a stunning twist.
Blood's runnin' down my face from where this guy's just bust me, my nose feels like it's split in half. Then this dame gets up an' strolls over to me - I reckon I am not lookin' quite so good.
She says: 'Well for cryin' out loud.'
Is this my big day or is it?
She stands lookin' at me, sippin' champagne. 'So you're a big "G" man,' she says. 'Well, personally, if you hadn't got a lot comin' to you I would take a bust at you myself, you lousy, crawlin', gum-shoein' dick. Have a drop of liquor, big boy.' She pours the contents of her glass over my face. It stings like hell, but I'm tellin' you it was good liquor.
Henrietta looked at Lemmy Caution with starry eyes. 'There's breakfast on the way,' she said, 'come on in.'
'Listen lady,' replied Lemmy. 'Maybe you ain't heard about me. I think I oughta warn you, I am not the sorta guy you ask around for breakfast, especially if you're good at makin' waffles.'
Henrietta leaned against the doorpost. 'I was going to give you fried chicken,' she said, 'but I've decided against it - I've got a better idea.'
'Such as?'
'Such as waffles,' she said.
Proceed with caution ... to Mexico ...
... or at least Mexico as Lemmy Caution sees it: 'It's hot as hell. Away down the dirt road some guy's playin' one of them wailin' Mexican fandangles which give me that twilight feelin' ... maybe it'd be a relief to start dyin' ... ?
Across the road some guy in a funny hat is handin' out a spiel to a dame about what a great bullfighter he used to be. Maybe she's his wife. If she is, then all I can say is she's a bad picker ... Me, I'd have married the bull ...'