Terribly Serious Darkness
3 primary works
Book 1
What terror lurks in the shadows of the Old Country?
Well, there are the goblins, of course. Then there are the bloodthirsty cannibals from nearby Carpathia, secret societies plotting in whispers, and murder victims found drained of their blood, to name a few. That's to say nothing of the multitude of government ministries, any one of which might haul one off for "questioning" in the middle of the night.
The Old Country is saturated with doom, and Sloot is scarcely able to keep from drowning in it. Each passing moment is certain to be his last, though never did fate seem so grim as the day he was asked to correct the worst report ever written. Will the events put in motion by this ghastly financial statement end in Sloot's grisly death? Almost definitely. Is that the worst thing that could happen? Almost definitely not.
Book 2
It's dark in the Old Country.
Where do goblins come from? Why do they only turn up in the Old Country, and why do they like swearing so much? Sloot Peril—a "hero" who's staunchly averse to heroics—goes searching for answers. Much to his chagrin, he finds them.
Everything changed after the Fall of Salzstadt but try telling that to the people of the city, whose capacity for denial is unmatched. They have yet to acknowledge that Vlad the Invader cut a bloody swath through their city, that the dead are walking the streets, or that the Domnitor—long may he reign—has fled to wherever despots go on very long vacations while goblin infestations take care of themselves. The worst of villains holds all the power, unspeakable dark forces are on the rise, and everyone wants to kidnap the Domnitor—long may he reign—for their own nefarious ends.
If all of that weren't bad enough, Sloot's got the fate of his own soul to worry about. Can his girlfriend help him save the Old Country from annihilation? Is Myrtle really his girlfriend? If all goes well for Sloot—which it never does—he might just sort it all out before the Dark swallows them all up.
Book 3
Time is running out for the Old Country.
How does one save a nation when the erstwhile gods are against the idea? In the finale of Terribly Serious Darkness, it's up to Sloot Peril--the world's greatest accountant and poorest everything else—to figure it out.
Unfortunately, he'll have help. A philosopher who'd sooner die (again) than do any real work, a bard who can't play his non-instrument, and a spooky wizard who's often mistaken for a vampire may not be ideal allies, but with any luck—which Sloot's never had—they'll occasionally get out of his way.
Does Sloot stand a chance against serpent cults, demons, dragons, and the most sinister financial report every written? Doubtful. If he's even going to survive the dance contest, he'll have to think of something now, before the Dark swallows everything up.