Around The World By Mouse

by Harry Pearson

Published 1 August 2005
Inspired by the efforts of 1950s comic writer Alex Atkinson who wrote a travelogue about the USA without bothering to visit it, Harry Pearson embarks on an epic trip around the globe without leaving his office except for the obvious necessities (biscuits, lavatory breaks and removing an electrocuted mouse from inside the toaster). Using the Internet, he traverses an incredible virtual world where natural wonders are rendered all the more remarkable by the florid language of computer translation programmes ("Glorious opinions of the provincial topography can be had from our high-up windows". By train, car, motorbike and yacht, homepage, live cam and blog, the author traverses the planet; fights off wave after wave of Spam-hucksters ("Want to make love like you were a teenager again?" What, you mean, on my own?)
; barters with locals using the recognised currency of the cyberspace, trivia; tries very hard not to be distracted from the appalling situation in Tajikstan by the news that a group of men in Michigan regularly recreate the great Medieval battles using thousands of Playmobile figures; and along the way learns about truth, beauty and why his septic tank is a ticking time bomb.