Book 3

Insults

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 5 November 2007
Insults. We've all received them and sometimes you've just got to make one. That irritating guy stood too close to you on the train. The rude checkout kid in your local supermarket. There are times when you need a clever, pithy insult. Vimrod are here to help! Insults is the latest book from the the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. Simple but bold illustrations, bright cheery colours and original, quirky comments have made the Vimrod series of books instant hits. Following classic titles in the series such as Farting and Drinking, Insults is a brilliantly funny must-have book that is sure to come in handy for those awkward tight spots. Stuck for something witty to say to get up the nose of that traffic warden? Don't worry, Insults has the answer! / The way you breathe really irritates me / You are so weird, mind if I take a photo of you? / Most potatoes would find you boring

Xmas

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 2 October 2006
Quirky and hilarious and guaranteed to make anyone smile! We give illustrated books to those we love to show how classy and intelligent we are, and so we can avoid spending our hard-earned cash on expensive presents that will be as appreciated as an unwashed sock. Christmas presents, like Christmas cards, are always a let down. Well not any more! Here to solve all your Christmas worries, 'Xmas' is one of the first in an exciting new collection of books inspired by the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make these books instant visual candy-cane. They're filled with seasonal good cheer and the strangest philosophies that you're ever likely to find at the bottom of your stocking. As well as enriching your life with its own unique outlook on all things Christmas, this book also sheds light on some of the more erroneous seasonal myths. For example, did you know that there was actually a fourth wise king, but he got kicked out of the stable when it was revealed that his gift for the newborn was a pair of socks and a tie? An important lesson to us all.
There are even a few inspirational messages from the man himself: Santa apologises. he's been very busy and so ordered your present online but the blooming site crashed and the helpdesk was busy and then the credit card payment thingy went all funny! anyway, your present will come at some point. .

Shopping

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 2 October 2006
Ever get the feeling that your credit card is laughing at you? Time to have a giggle at someone else's expense with this cheeky little number from Vimrod. The answer to the big question is Love. The answer to all the little questions is to spend money. Shopping is more than just buying clothes, it's a way of life. It's your best friend and your worst enemy, a way of making you happy and a means by which to drain you of all intelligence and reasoning. 'Shopping' is one of the first in an exciting new collection of books inspired by the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. As cutting edge as Giles Deacon, as timeless as a pair of Jimmy Choos, Vimrod looks at the world in the same unique way that you do. Deep, deep inside the brain of every woman is a small bungalow in which lives a little lady who is totally obsessed with shoes. These tiny little packages of fun are brimming with jokes, fables and philosophy, and are the perfect gift for anyone for whom the words 'store card' give a slight tingly sensation. Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours makes this book instant eye candy. And most importantly, they go with absolutely everything! .

Life

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 5 November 2007

Hello, this is your life speaking. You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?

Ever pondered the meaning of life? Go on, admit it, you have.

Why am I here?
How did I get here?
Where am I going? (other than to the shops?)

And exactly what is the point of it all?

These, among many other simple yet challenging questions, are answered by the brilliantly funny Vimrod.

Life is the latest in the exciting collection of books inspired by the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. Simple but bold illustrations, bright cheery colours and original quirky comments have made the Vimrod series of books instant hits.

Following classic titles in the series such as Farting and Drinking, Life will illuminate our existence in a way only the Vimrod team can.

  • I’m sorry I’m unable to come into the office today because…the sun is shining
  • Try, try, try again. If you still don't succeed, pay for someone else to do it.

Chocolate

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 15 January 2007
Money can't buy you love but it can buy you chocolate ! loads of it! Wrap your tastebuds around this sinfully self-indulgent celebration of God's gratest gift to womankind. Glorious, sumptuous, silky, scrummy, life-enhancing chocolate. It doesn't answer back, it knows that answer to 'does my bum look big in this?' and always knows how to make things better. Chocolate is nature's proof that God exists and that she loves us very, very much. Celebrating the love that knows no bounds, these cartoons are as tasty as a Belgian chocolate with only a fraction of the calories. chocolate is the answer. I don't give a damn about the question life is a struggle between good, evil and chocolate Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make these books perfect for anyone who enjoys one of life's naughtiest little indulgences. .

Love

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 15 January 2007
Show that special someone how much they truly mean to you. Gurgle the sweet language of Love into their ear, then present them with this book so that they can figure out why you are talking Martian. We all know what difficult it can be when you try to tell that special someone how much they mean to you. Gestures filled with love and romance somehow always ends up a bit of an embarrassment. You buy lilies when you know they remind your girlfriend of death. You cook a delicious peanut curry for the boyfriend with nut allergies. And you can guarantee that whilst you meant this day to be the day you told them those three magic words, all you'll be able to muster are some not very romantic four letter ones. Vimrod is here to say all those romantic things you've been desperate to say but just couldn't find the right way to say them. I'm so in love with you. Let's fly to the moon and back (we can stop for a quick pee though if you need one) I wanna hug ya, like do donut hugs da hole in da donut It's romance, but not as we know it ! Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make these books the perfect gift for the man or woman of your dreams. .

Farts

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 2 October 2006

A joyful celebration of one of mankind's most enduring pastimes and nature's funniest joke.

‘Farts’ is one of the first in an exciting new collection of books inspired by the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. Filled with priceless jokes, fables and philosophy, these drawings are as funny as ‘pull my finger’ and as innovative as a DIY Jacuzzi.

He who laughs last laughs longest.
But he who farts last gets blamed
even though others may have made worse farts before
him.

Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make this book the perfect gift for anyone who has 'enriched' your life with their unique emissions.


Drink

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 2 October 2006

An exciting new collection of cartoons that celebrate the beauty of booze, proving that in life, as in all things, all you need is love, gin and tonic.

There's nothing like a cold beer on a hot day. Or on a warm day. Or a cool day. Or even a cold day. In fact, few things are as adaptable as alcohol. It makes the bad times good and the good times better. It comes in a variety of flavours, colours, strengths, shapes and sizes (ok, it's the glasses that are the different shapes and sizes, but you get the idea).

Vimrod is here to celebrate the world's favourite pastime with a series of illustrations that look at the world through the bottom of a bottle with the humour and clarity that only a stiff drink can provide:

An empty glass means a full life.
Wine is made to be drunk. I am drunk. Therefore, am I wine?

‘Drink’ is one of the first in an exciting new collection of books inspired by the card-world's fastest growing phenomenon. Filled with priceless jokes, fables and philosophy, these drawings are as bold as a Cabernet Sauvignon and as fruity as Bordeaux.

Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make this book the perfect gift, whatever your tipple of choice.


Dads

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 21 May 2007

Dad's are great. They cook (ok, order fish and chips), clean (the car), entertain (if you can count snoring on the sofa after Sunday lunch entertaining) and can act as a free taxi service and a bank machine at the same time! No wonder you want to show how much you love and appreciate him with this irreverent and devilishly cheeky collection.

He's called 'Daddy' when you're little or when you want something very expensive; 'Father' when you get older and are trying to be condescending; 'Pop' or 'Granddad' when you get kids of your own, and *?!@ when he says the forbidden phrase 'You're not going out like that!' But deep down, he's always the same old Dad.

Show the most special man in the world how much you love, appreciate and respect him with a collection of funny and profound illustrations.

dad, you're the best. When I'm old I want to do
everything the way you do it,
except the way you eat, the way you dance,
and some of your opinions are, well,
crap.

Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make this the perfect gift for the man with the bottomless wallet and the hairless head (aka Dad).


Indulgence

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 4 February 2008

Girls like us deserve the best, plus a little extra…

You know those two voices in your head – the fun one and the boring one? You know the ones, they speak a little like this:

Voice 1: “Let’s do it! It’ll be a blast!”
Voice 2 : “No, best not. Let’s have a life of salad and sensible shoes instead.”

Well… Voice 1 has just written a book, just for you, because (quite frankly) girls like us deserve the best, plus a little extra!

  • I don’t have a sweet tooth. I have sweet teeth.
  • I am not indulgent. I just refrain from restraint.

A wonderfully bright and funny book on life’s little pleasures. Perfect for every lovely lady.


Blokehood

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 2 June 2008
'Football is great.' 'You can say that again.' 'Football is great.' A tiny little package of fun brimming with jokes, fables and philosophy to celebrate all that is witty, clever and wonderful about men. In between their farts. What ever happened to the good old bloke? Well, he's still here! Watching football, drinking beer, sitting on the sofa, and going hunting (for girls, not beasts). / There is no place like home. Except the pub. That is kind of like home to me. / I fart when provoked. / I am not stubborn. I am merely correct. Add a little more beer, the odd game of two halves and you get pretty close to why this book is perfect for any guy!it's the bible of blokehood!

Mums

by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar

Published 5 March 2007
It's time for you to show some gratitude to the most special woman in the world with a collection of artworks that are as funny as they are profound. She gave birth to you, fed you, clothed you, cleaned up your vomit (you knew you shouldn't have had that fifth pint), makes the best roast potatoes in the world, and she constantly tells you that are the most beautiful/clever/intelligent man/woman that has ever graced the face of this planet. And she believes it! Whether you've flown the nest or are still at home squawking for worms, your mum should be the centre of your universe (or so she keeps telling you, anyway). dear mum thanks for bringing me up. I have decided to become a nomad. I was wondering if you could buy me a tundra. Thanks Simple but bold illustrations with bright and cheery colours make these books the perfect way to show your mum how much she means to you all year round. .